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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Clover chainsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1125
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 679



    Description:
       It's getting all pretty outside and i remember me and my sister use to play in clovers...I'm tiny because I am younger and she is the writer because she always has been...i think that this poem accurately represents our relationship and our bond and I think this poem is pretty...but hey give it a shot at commenting.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsClover chainsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    above her tiny hands she fell
    down and down into little patches of clovers
    hiding from the dogs that play
    and may mistake her for a small animal to eat

    she sang and skipped below the grass
    and wished that she were tall
    climed a chain that a fellow writer had made sitting underneath the sun
    and called to her

    hey there...she said
    it was only audible as a whisper
    is someone there? spoke the writer
    but she couldn't find the tiny girl

    and when the writer tied the clover chain
    on her neck
    the tiny girl
    hung from her necklace
    like a charm




    Submitted on 2006-03-06 11:10:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I still love this one, too.
    | Posted on 2017-07-15 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, how wonderful! This one kicks *ss, Jaz. I was reading that person's comment where they said "plus it made me picture a misheivous lil thing that needed constant care but didn't accept or know how badly she needed it" and I just thought how right they got that. That's exactly what you were like. I don't really know what to say about it, exceot it's wonderful. I love this line

    into little patches of clovers
    hiding from the dogs that play
    and may mistake her for a small animal to eat

    Cause I can see you running around doing that, even though you were a normal size. I also love the part about her hanging from the necklace. It's just great! Terrific job!
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      WoW! Very good! I imagined it right along as I read it. A very nice ending. I'm into poems that flow but this one does not need flow. Thanks for the nice read...

    Cheers!
    :))
    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by Ravensworth | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very clever write
    I like the way this whole write came together with the last line
    I almost got the feeling of the story
    Jack in the beanstalk with this one
    I wonder how many tall people only wish they where shorter
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW not wow but wow lol i liked it very much!
    great job i luv the ending
    i love all kinds of poems but this one was all of the above great! adding u to my fav. 4 sure

    Much luv
    ~Jenn
    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by James Wiffy | [ Reply to This ]
      no rhyme, no form, but really cute. the exageration of smallness is great, plus it made me picture a misheivous lil thing that needed constant care but didn't accept or know how badly she needed it. i hope the clover chain brings u lots of luck.
    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by strike three | [ Reply to This ]


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