There is no longing song
strong enough to recall
the face of God
to sooth it all.
All I can do
is crave through this haze
of everyday
hope to reach beyond
beyond and around
your tattoo
that’s draping the pillar of you.
Imaginary mirror knows
how it looks like to be
the triglyph around your pillar.
i LIked the Tatoo drapping around u. and how it turns to a fasaud with the imaginary mirror. Its true a Tatoo is its own false appearance of time for the moment that it goes on. can have its regrets and in that case an imignary mirro can make it dissapear or change the time of preception
I love that. It kind of made me think of something I'd hear in a H.I.M. song. I don't know why. Maybe it was the words or the mood... or both. (That's a compliment. I love H.I.M. lol) But anyways, the wording is wonderful. You're very talented. Beautifully done
I was intrigued by this. but I don't like the ending. maybe because it's so short compared to the rest. I also would like to get a better picture in my mind of this tattooed person. I like tattooed guys myself. well, some of them! and I do like your poem. I just think it needs a more powerful ending. or just eliminate the last 3 lines altogether. nice write though, definitely.
yeah idon't really get it. sure the words had a nice flow but what was the meaning. seems to me like a bunch of words that sounded good together put into a few lines. i dunno. i just don't think it makes ton of sense...at least not to me.
ok...i like the imagery i get with it a tattoo draped around someone...but what is this representing?? can you not get over a tattooo a loved on has or something? what is this about??? ...confused i can say i guess??
I really like the way you worded this This is a powerful write I believe you were referring to a relationship that seems to have gone sour and there are too many boundaries up to attemt to fix it I only hope you are able to find Peace in this situation God Bless Ron
I was confused from start to finish, and since you don't know, I don't see the reason in asking you either what it all means. It had some stunning wording...but it made no sense to me whatso ever. I wish that you could of been more direct in your meaning and not so elusive, unless this was meant to be abstract...then you did well. If not, then this lacks clarity and it was rather brief. It seems as I was just getting into it...it stopped. I agree a stronger ending is needed, more clarity, and maybe a few more lines to help this out some. Overall, this was nice.
Why the face of god? and the beyond repetion other than that I loved this peice!!! It's what i call a silk poem, one you can feel softly and yet its strong
Submission Name: Pillar Tattoo
