Description: i wrote this in math class
it took me 5 minutes
it sucks
i hate it
tear it apart
smoke -------------------------------------------
All that is seen
is halfway closed
one grey window
chilled in cold
inside still and blazing
with a heat-waved ice
intense enough
to smack dry skin together
subtle enough for blood to suffice
watch it trickle through the cracks
where her own muffled and regal cold gasped
into words
into letters
into air
into silence
barely hanging on to the notes
ripped into piles of ashes
blackened upon the floor
light a match
another sandpaper edge
to scrape against
and struggle across
from discomfort
into tolerable cruelty
she paints whats left
on skin and sheets
then destroys all progress
with her red container of gasoline.
You're definatley my favourtie writer on this website so far, You have SO f'n much passion and feel in your poems, I just love them soooo much, you make me look bad! but it's okay, cause i Love it!
FIVE MINUTES?!?!??!?!...ok sorry about that i just can't believe it took you only five minutes..i envy you...i thought this piece was great..good description, the flow was great..
"light a match another sandpaper edge to scrape against and struggle across from discomfort into tolerable cruelty she paints whats left on skin and sheets"
I thought those lines were the best..they just were like wow..i love your wording skills..it just must have come together so easily..anyhows i loved this piece with a passion..keep up the great work! -Lucy-
wow no way that was five minutes! its great...i love all teh metaphors u have in it. it really adds. as a matter of fact, i think thats what makes it so good. that and the emotion u put into it. good imagery too...keep it up!
Submission Name: smoke
