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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Two Minutesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sussysabaslice
    ASL Info:    19/f/pennysylvania
    Elite Ratio:    2.68 - 29/49/33
    Words: 1165
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 158
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 6445



    Description:
       do me a favor. protect bambi.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwo Minutesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It was dark, and I was shivering. Having been violently ripped from my bed less then five minutes ago, I was scared witless. Some dark, obscure figure had pulled the blankets from me and pointed a gun to my head, with a few words. “You. Go downstairs now. I will not tolerate any resistance.”

    Needless to say, I did what I was told. I stumbled down the steps and was shoved into a hard kitchen chair. From somewhere he pulled out a length of rope and bound my ankles to the chair legs. My heart was pounding in my ears so hard I swear he could hear it too. For the most part, my captor looked like a dirty homeless man with ragged clothes and unkempt hair, but with a gleam of desperation in his eyes and a notably dangerous .9mm handgun clutched lightly in his right hand.

    He stood in the middle on my kitchen, looking me up and down in the light of a streetlamp. I really regretted the fact that I went to sleep in a light purple cami and light blue boxer shorts, but that couldn’t be helped. His eyes landed in all the wrong places and I was shaking so bad I wanted to scream. After a minute or so of his more-then-once over, he spoke again. “I’m feeling especially kind right now. I’m going to hand you this phone, and give you two minutes to call someone to say your final goodbye. It can be whoever you want, but you have to follow two simple rules. You have no more then two minutes, and you cannot tell said person that you are in any kind of trouble. If you break either of these rules…” he trailed off, stroking the gun barrel. He explained this all to me in the tones one would use explaining the rules of a game to a small child, but the last sentence was laced with malice.

    I was shaking harder, but I managed to nod and slowly reached for the cordless phone he proffered. I shuddered when our fingers brushed. Tears began to form in my eyes, along with a lump in my throat, but I coughed and blinked them away. I needed to be strong for two minutes. That was all.

    I stared at the phone blankly, pondering whom I should call. Mom and Dad were in Spain for another week, visiting my older brother in college, so that wouldn’t exactly help me much. The only person I wanted to say anything to was my boyfriend of almost a year, Adam, so I began punching his number. 935…610…25…25…dammit. What’s the rest of it!?! The shock of the situation blanked my mind and I needed a deep shuddering breath to remember the rest. I finished the number and heard it ring.

    Between the first and second ring, the psychotic man held his watch up to me and mouthed, “Two minutes.” to me.

    Just before the third ring, Adam picked up. “Hello?” He muttered groggily. I never called this late.

    “Baby…I really need to talk to you. Please, this is very important.” Just hearing his voice made the tears start and my voiced cracked through the second, whispered sentence.

    “Baby girl, what are you doing calling me at three in the morning? What happened? What’s wrong?” I could hear the tremendous shock in his voice, and knew that right now he was wide awake. The tears came faster, burning trails down my cheeks.

    “Nothing’s wrong, silly,” I said in a vane attempt to hide the situation, using a falsely cheery voice. “I just needed to tell you that…that I don’t think I’m going to be able…” and then I lost my self control and sobbed. I couldn’t finish.

    “One minute thirty.” The man mouthed.

    “I know that’s a lie, Jess. Please tell me. I’m worried about you now.” Adam murmured to me. I had to bite my lip so hard I tasted blood to not shriek; his voice killed me so much. I’ll never hear him speak like that again…

    I closed my eyes and swallowed hard so I could continue and not waste my precious time. “Adam, I love you so so much. Promise me you’ll never forget that. Promise me.”

    “Jess, I could never forget that. Not ever. I love you, too. What’s wrong? You sound dead scared.” He was startled.

    “One minute.” The man mouthed, this time with a grin.

    How horribly ironic. I will actually be dead in a very short space of time.

    “Baby I am. More then you know. But I need you to call my family tomorrow and tell them that I love them too, ok? Promise me.”

    “What the hell is going on?”

    “I can’t explain anything to you, and I’m sorry, but you have to promise me!” I nearly screamed the last part I was so frayed.

    “Alright…I promise. Jess, please, tell me what’s wrong. I’m scared for you now. Is somebody there? Are they hurting you?” His voice was soft and soothing, trying to calm me down, and I could hear him pulling on clothes in the background. I realized he was going to drive out here as soon as possible to check on me.

    “Baby…do me a favor. Protect Bambi.” I said slowly, a half formed idea skimming the surface of my mind. His nickname for me was Bambi, because I have large brown eyes and my favorite pair of jeans make me look like I have ‘doe legs’, according to him. Maybe… just maybe he’d pick up on it…

    “Thirty seconds.” The man mouthed, the grin growing wilder.

    Adam was silent for a full ten seconds, and I started to freak out, then he spoke. “I think I get it…I’ll protect Bambi alright. Bambi needs a little fire power behind her, I’ll take it?”

    “Fifteen seconds.”

    I almost sighed in relief, but caught myself and broke again when my captor pulled seven .9mm bullets out of his pocket. If I could stall him for ten minutes, I’d be ok. “Baby, please…I love you so much. I wish I could kiss you one last time. I need to go, but this isn’t goodbye. Never goodbye. I love you for always.” The tears were coming again. I heard Adam remove his .38 shotgun from his gun rack.

    “Five seconds,” My subjugator declared without trying to lower his voice, crackling with laughter.

    Clearly, Adam heard it because he said quickly, “Baby girl I love you for always too. I’m going to save my Bambi.”

    With a final sob, I quickly pulled the phone away and pushed the power button.

    “Time’s up.” Said my revolting assailant, with a final spin of the chamber. He cocked the hammer and slowly placed the barrel to my temple.





    Submitted on 2006-03-07 19:36:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Okay...this literally has me on the edge of my seat. Does she get shot? Or does Bambi survive?
    I love the way you presented this, you had me hooked from the beginning.
    The way I see it, just because the barrel is at her head doesn't mean anything. Something could happen, and she could survive...

    awesome write!
    *darkwinged*
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by darkwinged | [ Reply to This ]
      this is bull ish what the hell happened. Please dont tell me that your just gonna leave it like that. Do a sequal or somethin please.
    Dont take it the wrong way, i definately like it and i guess u got the effect u wanted makin me want more but, thats just torture! :-)
    mucho amor
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by jhb4 | [ Reply to This ]
      Darn, girl, you sure had me going with this story..
    and darn again..you leave me with a cliff hanger.

    It did start out a bit slow.. but when it got going, I was hooked till the finish.

    Good writing.
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      protect bambi, interesting...

    the story started out a little slow, and some of the dialogue sounded a little unrealistic given the situation, but characters aside, the situation demanded tension and suspense. you created that very well at the end. if you do write a sequel, let me know.
    thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by onepieces | [ Reply to This ]
      Neat-o piece. I like the abrupt ending that leaves the reader wanting more.

    On a technical note, a 9mm pistol will have anywhere from a 12 to a 15 round clip. :)

    Cheers.
    ~Orin.
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]



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