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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Tempting Offerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dax
    ASL Info:    35 male BC Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 127/127/42
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 214
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1429



    Description:
       this was an actual dream I had before I decided to be baptised. I woke up and my heart was pounding and my body was soaked with sweat from this frightmare because it was so vivid. i couldn't get back to sleep after that so i stayed up and read the Bible

    this happened in 1996 in June, a little while before I was baptized in September


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Tempting Offerdots
    -------------------------------------------




    Deep in slumber my mind awoke,
    to dream inside this head.
    To find myself in mist and shroud,
    almost thinking I was dead.
    Cool was the air,
    that chilled to the bone.
    I looked around this place,
    with an ominous tone.
    In a garden filled with snakes,
    slithering all around.
    I made my way to the middle,
    a gargoyle fountain found.
    Coverd with algae and slime,
    serpents hissing a cacaphony tune.
    Out of the corner of my eye
    a shadow crept in the light of moon.
    This mysterious cloaked figure,
    gave a jagged smile.
    Said sweetly “ I have an offer for you,
    I’ll make it worth your while.”
    He then gestured to the snakes,
    then waved one gloved hand.
    Then to my amazement when he said “stop”!,
    they obeyed his command.
    “I’ll give you some authority,
    over my servants and you may have all you crave.”
    With boldness I looked his way to retort
    “ I will never be your slave!”
    As quickly as he appeared to me,
    to shadows he did vanish
    I knew that in my heart,
    bad desire I must try to banish.
    I awoke to dripping sweat
    and pounding heart.
    Realizing the Devil’s test,
    and this was a start.
    The tempting offer,
    to add a soul into his coffer.

    March 7, 2006




    Submitted on 2006-03-07 20:36:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I was about to not read this but my eyes then fell on these lines

    "In a garden filled with snakes,
    slithering all around.
    I made my way to the middle,
    a gargoyle fountain found.
    Coverd with algae and slime,"

    From then on, i just had to read this poem. It was filled with very creepy images that really did succeed in making me kinda creeped out. The rhyming along with the descriptions make this one of the best poems in awhile. I love way the whole poem felt "evil" and kinda gothic, i loved the feeling. And from the way you describe the dream, i would've crapped my pants of that kinda dream ever happened to me. You did an amazing job describing the scene and this is a fav. I loved it.
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      this was completely vivid! just by reading it i was absorbed into the scene. some dream, eh? it is as if you dreamt what exactly was happening in the spirit realm. gives me chills to be honest.

    before i came to the Lord i had a similar dream. i think we have to come to a place in our lives where we defy the works of the emeny and make a clear stand on who we choose to follow.

    the subject, style, the theme and the whole concept of this piece is appealing to me simply because i am born again and am very familiar to this. i thought it was nicely written and am estatic at the ending-
    “ I will never be your slave!” amen is all i can say.
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Sacred Sindy | [ Reply to This ]
      Such tales of dreams and devils are best served with an open mind and an open heart. While I know quite well what you speak of in your poem, your words rang true and clear just the same. If this was a dream - then listen with intent. If not, it's message will be listened to by others regardless. Well done...
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]



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