i can really hear the tone of voice as i'm reading this one, that is something that stands out, unlike many poems i have read...sometimes poems come out blah, just words on a page, but not this one...i hear the frustration in some parts, the hope in other parts if you polished this a little-not much, just made a subsequent draft-and give it a refrain (repeated stanza), it might could be a good rock-ballad, i don't think a new stanza would have to be written though- you could use one that you've already written in the poem, one that states the overall theme of the poem, for instance "i love you baby with what's left of this broken heart..." i bet if you try splicing that one stanza inbetween the others you'd see what i'm saying ~cj
Nice piece, loved reading this, so many vivid imageries and feelings involved. I must have read it four times and keep seeing new parts Thanks for the pleasure John
the third line of the 9th stanza threw me it was like you left out a word or put the wrong one in its place but other then that It was a fair piece it has a lot of feeling in it for that special someone ,anyway thats just my take on this I hope you keep tapping those keys adnil
Submission Name: Thank You Baby
