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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In the Gardendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SouthernState
    ASL Info:    18/f/GA
    Elite Ratio:    4.77 - 31/21/16
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 177
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 300



    Description:
       Hey -
    Religious poem. Not common for me.

    This is an etheree poem. Etheree poems consist of ten lines with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables (per line - 1 with 1, 2 with 2, etc.).

    Pretty fun, I recommend it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn the Gardendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lost –
    I dream
    Of what was
    Pure and untouched.
    Now old hopes lie dead
    Because of you and me
    And all that has since occurred
    I look about us and wonder
    What could have been, what should have happened,
    Were we content to play a human role.




    Submitted on 2006-03-08 00:10:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOW! I really liked this one! You gave this unique written poem such character and emotion. I am impressed. Not only did you take on the challenge of the format itself, but you took on the challenge of keeping the topic.

    Very short for it to be giving such an impact. If I was you, I'd be proud of this one!

    Much love,

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice little etheree, I applaud anyone with the discipline to write form poetry, so many won't bother because of the trouble one must go to.

    I feel you should write "you and I" o make it sound right, and a pure etheree never finishes a sentence at the end of the line, so a couple of small changes would make it perfect.

    Very well done, and welcome!

    be happy

    Graeme

    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was kinda... meh to me. i gues i'm partial to rhyming and freeverse poetry. my comfort zone i guess.
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by rocker5871 | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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