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    dots Submission Name: perfect circles of lovedots

    Author: mamukami
    Elite Ratio:    5.81 - 13/20/8
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 963
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1151

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsperfect circles of lovedots

    level playing fields the turf kicks back.
    never clear to begin with
    but always green.

    keep off the grass.
    i always heeded.

    undressing me in words, printed hands on flesh
    i turned my eyes,
    willing blindness
    holding silence
    head in sand
    pleading illiteracy.

    heart breaking.

    body burning.

    stepping back.
    legs, firmly, crossed.

    even in this,
    our perfect circle of love,
    i have nothing to say.

    bound between two abyss,
    that were dug by other hands
    while i sit looking out over other horizons.

    distances unfathomable,
    my fingers bleed
    digging for bricks
    to build bridges

    to loves i share
    a sister
    her lover
    a brother

    this game is not mine to play
    the bridges not mine to build
    the emptiness to cross
    not of my making
    not mine
    fingers bleed
    hearts emptying
    onto green

    Submitted on 2006-03-08 05:49:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "digging for bricks
    to build bridges"


    I am in no position to offer elaborate critiques. I don't believe there are perfect poems. When I read poetry I look for that spark of insight, understanding, wisdom. If there were a thousand lines of verse and only one stanza sent tha shock down my spine, it was worth my time to read.
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by nsc | [ Reply to This ]
      i love ther verse "distances unfathomable, my fingers bleed digging for bricks to build bridges" it reminds me of my own bloody fingers and bricks yet to be found...very good
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      iknow i already posted but i just re-read it and i do love this poem...very well done...i am now searching your archive and seeing what other works you posted
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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