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    dots Submission Name: fear on the boarddots

    Author: strike three
    ASL Info:    32/m/Ethiopia
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 49/54/28
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 782
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1328

       my pen has a chess board design on it and i wanted to write like that.. wierd but hey.. poetry is expression right.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfear on the boarddots

    im stuck in the----------------------black on this
    board of life.------------------------im scared to
    step into the------------------------white, the light
    will expose me----------------------and point a finger
    at the fear in------------------------me that im not a
    winner. I am ------------------------comfortable in
    in the black of-----------------------things. The white
    ------------------reminds ima sinner.--------------------
    ------------------To shy away from----------------------
    ------------------everyone. and not---------------------
    ------------------have to deal with-----------------------
    ------------------the the rejection,------------------------
    ------------------of hurting someone.--------------------
    ------------------Its all in my head------------------------
    and id rather be----------------------dead. The desire
    to win has turnd'---------------------to pain and i am
    crouchin beneath---------------------this never ending
    strain. Im good------------------------im human and im
    worthit i say but----------------------to me thats all
    talking from the-----------------------black of life and
    iwill never ever------------------------see the white side

    Submitted on 2006-03-08 09:21:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the way you put the poem into shape, which to me gave it character. I like the fact that it is a cross and that your talking about only seeing darkness rather then light and it was expressive. Nice job, keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by lost.within.you | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that this is creative and expressive and brilliant. I love it. I think that you were caught by a burst of inspiration and you took it and made a brilliant piece with it.
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the visual effect created with the chessboard idea. You did a good job bringing to life the black and white colors and applying them to your own personal life situation and how you feel. On the other side of things, you may want to check your spelling, work spacing and grammar. Not trying to be over critical, but I think the spelling and grammar mistakes take away from the overall affect of the poem. Good write!
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by chrls | [ Reply to This ]

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