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    dots Submission Name: 2 My Criticsdots

    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1264
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1060




    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots2 My Criticsdots

    My critics.
    Try to bring down my gimmick,
    And try to act like critters,
    When indeed my style they mimic.

    It's funny how we give advice,
    And then turn it into a chastise,
    Turn inside out,
    Just 2 be cold as ice.

    I don't care how much I put in,
    Yet how much I take out,
    I'm victorious in my efforts,
    Yet I'm left in doubt.

    I can never satisfy,
    The apetite of the hungry,
    For they thirst for more,
    When indeed they make me angry,
    Therefore I'm the one to start this war.

    My critics try to bring me down,
    Yet my smile,
    Can never demote 2 a frown.

    I'm unique in my style,
    Been writing 4 a while,
    Yet bieng versitile,
    Is a curse,
    When it adds up,
    2 your talent pile.

    Fuck my critics,
    I don't really care,
    I'll rather write lyrics,
    And leave poetry unaware.

    Submitted on 2004-05-03 17:39:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      they also tore one of my pieces apart. but I changed it a little bit, reposted it and believe me it was really better. that's what the site is for: to give you feedback to get better. it's always just a suggestion, you can take it or not. but we just want to help you, not make you down.
    to your poem. it's good. you expressed your anger vividly. but write your words out!
    | Posted on 2004-05-04 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the anger that seeped from this write. I don't like criticism either, but that is what makes me strive to write better- to prove to myself that i can write better. you can either take criticism one of two ways,- take it with a grain of salt or take it in as advice to make your next write more powerful.I really liked this though
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Broken Angel | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it. Some other submitters may feel the same way, but that is the point of the site.. to make your work better.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Dark Angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi there, and since I've never seen you before today, welcome. I like the rhythm and rhyme structure you havee here, reminds me of slam poetry, like it would sound good spoken out loud (angrily). The second stanza, though, seems to break your form (chastise and ice seems pretty forced). Other than that, I like the piece and hope to read more of your stuff.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by DevilDinosaur | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds like rap lol. hmm people have given me some bad comments too lol dont feel bad, if we take [censored] in life too frucking personal.. we're never going nowhere. if you think your writting is good then it is. plus ive read some of your stuff.. even though i havent comment on it lol . and you aint that bad, just need to spell words out and watch out for the typos.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Exodus Night Sky | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think you should hate your critics so much. I mean they are only trying to help you improve. how are you supposed to get any better if no one ever says anything negative? I dunno, maybe i just take criticism more contructively then most.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by roxygirl239 | [ Reply to This ]

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