A Colour from a Crazed Dream -------------------------------------------
She'd seen the colour years before
in a fevered state between slumber and hallucination
it doesn't exist in the open-eyed world,
but now it rained down on her.
She tasted its beauty on her tongue,
felt its polar fleece velvet silk upon her skin,
and she'd long for it
long after that rise in temperature
became a vacant shadow of memory.
I might be totally off base on this, but I'm wondering if you're speaking of LSD, or maybe even delirium resulting from fever.
I quit using drugs many years ago, but I'll never forget how it (LSD) changed my mind. It sounds so cliché, but anyone who has ever done it will know what I mean immediately. It leaves you with something. Your mind has been opened, if not your eyes, and you can never quite see anything the same again. It really is something to be able to taste colour, or even hear it. To see sound as colour and sense taste as feeling. Makes a person wonder if there are things we should be sensing or once could sense that we can't anymore... after all, we only use a small percentage of our brain.
But interestingly, once any sort of altered state is gone, though you might remember, there are few times you can actually connect with that memory without the altered state.
When it happens, it usually comes as a surprise, a flashback, and then it all comes flooding back. Something so difficult to describe.
I once wrote a poem to which the closing line was "to grasp the hand of ecstasy could not be accidental once more." I guess in a sense that line was wrong, because it can be accidental, but trying to recreate it is difficult at best, though it is easier once it has happened once.
Maybe we only get small glimpses of something more, and then it is up to us to decide where to go with it. You know, those moments where it seems the sun shines just for you!
Yeah, I liked this a lot. I have spent some time on your page today, and you have a real way with words. I like how so many of your poems are short but sweet; illuminating but to the point.
This is beautiful, you write so beautifully. Time to time I think of you and I look for you on my favorites page and see what art you have created recently. You inspire me so much. I hope so much that one day I could write like you.
I had to read it twice. I enjoyed overall. I too dream in color know exactly what you're talking about. Being more of a simpified writer i did find it a little too wordy! But i still enjoyed cause I see your description.... ~Alexander Blue
Nice work here, giving the reader the opportunity to pick whatever color they want to fill in the blank. I like it's dreamy, ehtereal quality, and herlonging at the end is effectively portrayed. I might drop 'polar' in line 6, I keep thinking old navy or something (yes, I've been conditioned by Madison Ave.).
This poem reminds me of what could have inspired Jimi Hendrix's Purple Haze. I really enjoyed reading your descriptions...phrases like "tasting beauty" or "polar fleece velvet silk" worked really well for this poem. There was nothing cliché, or anything remotely bad about it. Good write
its was nice. Good imagry and nice use of words. Be carful tho it could be a bit better with punctuation, just sayin. I know u dont know me but if u want come and read some of my stuff. later. Patrick o_riley
she tasted its beauty on her tongue felt its polar fleece velvet silk upon her skin
great lines, Amy! a colour so vibrant you can taste it and feel it.. very sensual. this makes me think of when i wake up from a particularly beautiful dream, yet i can't quite recall it. it's right there on the edge of my mind, if only i could reach out and grab it.
It's really interesting to describe that moment between rest and sleep in such a way, and yet you never give us the actual color, just its feel. yum!
And who knows what worlds we find as we sleep? It's all very personal to who we are and certainly should have a color that describes it. I think mine is burgandy with light blue and yellow drips running throughout, some of which have formed pools!
I'm missing you, but know you're having fun. Love and hugs,
This certainly was creative! I loved your chose of words and their use throughout this poem. I think you provided the reader with a visual of this dream as if we ourselves were the person in the poem. I have to say this was great. Your flow was easy and carefree, bringing up feelings of a dream like state. Great work!
I'm glad to see you are still writing. :) This reminds me of someone who used to see color but then lost their color vision. And you are describing seeing a color. "she tasted its beauty on her tongue" I really like that part because so many times beauty seen through the eye can be felt through taste, touch, or hearing. That's what I believe anyway. I like the "polar fleece" part too. :) It's sad at the ending because she longed for its presence again but knew it would never come. Great job! Take care hun.
Thius I believe is a deeply personal write I believe but I may be wrong that you where writing this about drug addiction and how you see things quite insane when on drugs This is deep and this write does speak a good message Drugs only bring pain God Bless Ron I also am a hugely in love with cats I have one of my own named Dennis The Menace He is a HUGE orange tabby Take Care Ron
I've been through this before, but it was not a color I lost. You wake up, feeling sorrow, knowing you've lost something you might never experience again. I think you once more successfully describe how people all over feel, but don't know how to put into words. I love the last 3 lines!
wow thats really cool it was so sweet i loved ur colorfull vocab. the imagery was amazing..im gonna rate it cuz i liked it i loved the part about tasting beuty
rymes n/a flow 9/10 creativty 10/10 orginalyity 10/10 cool workds 10/10 emotion 9.3/10 clearity 10/10 distractions 2/10 <-good... overall 9.7/10 WOW...if u read more of my comments ull see that i think urs is the best that iv ranked
well i think what you are trying to say it s very good and forom my point of view syou should add more things in the middle of the writing .. becuase i felt like something was missing .. but overall, it is a good writing keep on writing .. and if you have time please check out my writings ... peace and love! and take care! Victor!
I have been thinking about color a lot lately ( because i watch the gazillion shades of green that the same patches of grass become as the sun rises and sets) and so this really appealed to me. I like poems that take me on a journey,--and possibly inspire at some future time a poetic response.
I liked the image of color as something that experienced both tactily and by tasting ---reminds me of theat 60's song about the prince who classified things by his senses rather than their names ( he would order toast and yellow --and he called his dogs "panties" etc etc). I digress---but I have noted this noted this juxtapostioning of the senses before in your poems, and it always works well. And of course the artist in you cannot resist attempting to paint this mystery color without describing its' complicated soft and sensual texture and seductive taste. The exact hue is not that important her, --it is the effect it had on the senses, and i like that we are left to imagine what nebulous shade this might have been. In dreams anything is possible , so perhaps it was a color never seen (yet) on earth?
I can't determine why it may have been a "crazed" dream though,--or even if it was. The focus is on that that color and its' effect on the dreamer. I think sometimes our dreams amaze and or confuse us and leave us so touched, that we tend to minimize them by classing them as "wild, crazy--silly ,unreal "etc but they are just as real as our so-called reality and impact us in many ways even when don't recall anything from the dream. Thus, calling it a "crazed " dream, without giving any more details about the nature of that dream, reinforces the lingering effect the evnt had on this dreamer.I just loved that, --who hasn't experienced a lingering emotional response to a dream on occasion , --be it peace, terror, comfort, joy or dread?
I also liked the finale "long after that rise in temperature became a vacant shadow of memory" again underscoring that all the dreamer really recalls, is the feeling, and she longs to experience that once again, so compellingly beautiful was that color.