[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Colour from a Crazed Dreamdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1429
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 448


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Colour from a Crazed Dreamdots

    She'd seen the colour years before
    in a fevered state between slumber and hallucination
    it doesn't exist in the open-eyed world,
    but now it rained down on her.
    She tasted its beauty on her tongue,
    felt its polar fleece velvet silk upon her skin,
    and she'd long for it
    long after that rise in temperature
    became a vacant shadow of memory.

    Submitted on 2006-03-08 17:34:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I might be totally off base on this, but I'm wondering if you're speaking of LSD, or maybe even delirium resulting from fever.

    I quit using drugs many years ago, but I'll never forget how it (LSD) changed my mind. It sounds so cliché, but anyone who has ever done it will know what I mean immediately. It leaves you with something. Your mind has been opened, if not your eyes, and you can never quite see anything the same again. It really is something to be able to taste colour, or even hear it. To see sound as colour and sense taste as feeling. Makes a person wonder if there are things we should be sensing or once could sense that we can't anymore... after all, we only use a small percentage of our brain.

    But interestingly, once any sort of altered state is gone, though you might remember, there are few times you can actually connect with that memory without the altered state.

    When it happens, it usually comes as a surprise, a flashback, and then it all comes flooding back. Something so difficult to describe.

    I once wrote a poem to which the closing line was "to grasp the hand of ecstasy could not be accidental once more." I guess in a sense that line was wrong, because it can be accidental, but trying to recreate it is difficult at best, though it is easier once it has happened once.

    Maybe we only get small glimpses of something more, and then it is up to us to decide where to go with it. You know, those moments where it seems the sun shines just for you!

    Yeah, I liked this a lot. I have spent some time on your page today, and you have a real way with words. I like how so many of your poems are short but sweet; illuminating but to the point.

    | Posted on 2010-07-15 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautiful, you write so beautifully. Time to time I think of you and I look for you on my favorites page and see what art you have created recently. You inspire me so much. I hope so much that one day I could write like you.
    | Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I had to read it twice. I enjoyed overall. I too dream in color know exactly what you're talking about. Being more of a simpified writer i did find it a little too wordy! But i still enjoyed cause I see your description....
    ~Alexander Blue
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by Alexander Blue | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice work here, giving the reader the opportunity to pick whatever color they want to fill in the blank. I like it's dreamy, ehtereal quality, and herlonging at the end is effectively portrayed. I might drop 'polar' in line 6, I keep thinking old navy or something (yes, I've been conditioned by Madison Ave.).


    | Posted on 2006-04-26 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem reminds me of what could have inspired Jimi Hendrix's Purple Haze. I really enjoyed reading your descriptions...phrases like "tasting beauty" or "polar fleece velvet silk" worked really well for this poem. There was nothing cliché, or anything remotely bad about it. Good write
    | Posted on 2006-04-12 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]
      its was nice. Good imagry and nice use of words. Be carful tho it could be a bit better with punctuation, just sayin. I know u dont know me but if u want come and read some of my stuff. later.
    Patrick o_riley
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by patrick o_riley | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Amy

    Loved the touchy feelyness to this poems descriptives. Created longing in me...howd you like the snow?

    | Posted on 2006-03-18 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      thought id take a peek at your work randomly ^.^
    glad i did ,a very cool and imaginative poem

    bit short but in some ways that adds rather than detracts from it!
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by darkme | [ Reply to This ]
      she tasted its beauty on her tongue
    felt its polar fleece velvet silk upon her skin

    great lines, Amy! a colour so vibrant you can taste it and feel it.. very sensual. this makes me think of when i wake up from a particularly beautiful dream, yet i can't quite recall it. it's right there on the edge of my mind, if only i could reach out and grab it.

    great work, Amy!

    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      That sounds somewhat euphoric. I enjoyed this one very much. A little synesthaesia :) Tasting beauty, that's nice. I loved everything you did with this one.
    Very nice work,
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      It's really interesting to describe that moment between rest and sleep in such a way, and yet you never give us the actual color, just its feel. yum!

    And who knows what worlds we find as we sleep? It's all very personal to who we are and certainly should have a color that describes it. I think mine is burgandy with light blue and yellow drips running throughout, some of which have formed pools!

    I'm missing you, but know you're having fun.
    Love and hugs,

    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      hello~ look who crawled out of her shell *smirk*.

    I love the thought that a color can be tasted.... I definitely think of colors in tastes, less of a flavor-taste and more of a texture-taste...

    whatever your poems are always little morsels of goodness ^_^ <3 ~Coraz
    | Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]
      This certainly was creative! I loved your chose of words and their use throughout this poem. I think you provided the reader with a visual of this dream as if we ourselves were the person in the poem. I have to say this was great. Your flow was easy and carefree, bringing up feelings of a dream like state. Great work!

    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm glad to see you are still writing. :)
    This reminds me of someone who used to see color but then lost their color vision. And you are describing seeing a color.
    "she tasted its beauty on her tongue"
    I really like that part because so many times beauty seen through the eye can be felt through taste, touch, or hearing. That's what I believe anyway.
    I like the "polar fleece" part too. :)
    It's sad at the ending because she longed for its presence again but knew it would never come.
    Great job!
    Take care hun.

    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      really an interesting concept, the idea that one could dream or imagine a previously unseen color. and then I wonder, when she sees it years later, does it really exist or has she lost her mind?

    felt its polar fleece velvet silk upon her skin

    is a mouthful, but when something tastes so good you want a mouthful of it, right? really pretty amy.

    and I'd really like to know your interpretation of it if you care to share it. I'm thinkin the poor girl has flipped her lid, no?

    I bet it's a beautiful and yummy color, or should it be colour where you're at?
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      Thius I believe is a deeply personal write
    I believe but I may be wrong that you where writing this about drug addiction and how you see things quite insane when on drugs
    This is deep
    and this write does speak a good message
    Drugs only bring pain
    God Bless
    I also am a hugely in love with cats
    I have one of my own named Dennis The Menace
    He is a HUGE orange tabby
    Take Care
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I've been through this before, but it was not a color I lost. You wake up, feeling sorrow, knowing you've lost something you might never experience again.
    I think you once more successfully describe how people all over feel, but don't know how to put into words.
    I love the last 3 lines!
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      wow thats really cool it was so sweet i loved ur colorfull vocab. the imagery was amazing..im gonna rate it cuz i liked it i loved the part about tasting beuty

    rymes n/a
    flow 9/10
    creativty 10/10
    orginalyity 10/10
    cool workds 10/10
    emotion 9.3/10
    clearity 10/10
    distractions 2/10 <-good...
    overall 9.7/10
    WOW...if u read more of my comments ull see that i think urs is the best that iv ranked

    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
      well i think what you are trying to say it s very good and forom my point of view syou should add more things in the middle of the writing .. becuase i felt like something was missing .. but overall, it is a good writing
    keep on writing .. and if you have time please check out my writings ...
    peace and love!
    and take care!
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      I have been thinking about color a lot lately ( because i watch the gazillion shades of green that the same patches of grass become as the sun rises and sets) and so this really appealed to me. I like poems that take me on a journey,--and possibly inspire at some future time a poetic response.

    I liked the image of color as something that experienced both tactily and by tasting ---reminds me of theat 60's song about the prince who classified things by his senses rather than their names ( he would order
    toast and yellow --and he called his dogs "panties" etc etc). I digress---but I have noted this noted this juxtapostioning of the senses before in your poems, and it always works well. And of course the artist in you cannot resist attempting to paint this mystery color without describing its' complicated soft and sensual texture and seductive taste. The exact hue is not that important her, --it is the effect it had on the senses, and i like that we are left to imagine what nebulous shade this might have been. In dreams anything is possible , so perhaps it was a color never seen (yet) on earth?

    I can't determine why it may have been a "crazed" dream though,--or even if it was. The focus is on that that color and its' effect on the dreamer. I think sometimes our dreams amaze and or confuse us and leave us so touched, that we tend to minimize them by classing them as "wild, crazy--silly ,unreal "etc but they are just as real as our so-called reality and impact us in many ways even when don't recall anything from the dream. Thus, calling it a "crazed " dream, without giving any more details about the nature of that dream, reinforces the lingering effect the evnt had on this dreamer.I just loved that, --who hasn't experienced a lingering emotional response to a dream on occasion , --be it peace, terror, comfort, joy or dread?

    I also liked the finale "long after that rise in temperature
    became a vacant shadow of memory"

    again underscoring that all the dreamer really recalls, is the feeling, and she longs to experience that once again, so compellingly beautiful was that color.

    Perhaps she had glimpsed heaven? nirvana?--

    Well done Amy

    | Posted on 2006-06-23 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Incubus written by monad
    To written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Chelebel
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]