I won't back down by forevertorn

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Submission Name: I won't back down dots

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Author:	forevertorn
ASL Info:	16.f.california
Elite Ratio:	3.41 - 21/30/19
Words:	99

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	126
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	596

Description:
Yay Crew! lol, most ppl probably don't know what that is, in which case it might be hard to relate unless you've done it, but w/e. My first race in a single, sccarrryy, lol. I'm like the smallest girl in crew EVEr. (5'2' bitches! lol) and my 2k on the erg was a 2:06.7! (shockingly bad, i kno =P) but i guess, since i'm so little, i didn't have to pull much weight, and I got 2ND!! woot! lol, the chick that m=beat me tho, was a total man. lol.

I won't back down dots

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My body trembles,
my grip tightens to the point where my forearms throb,
my head pounds,
my stomach hurts,
all this, and the race hasn't even started yet.

I know I can't keep up, but I can't back down.

A late start,
I'm already behind,
I stare ahead at the chase boat,
My grip loosens but my forearms ache,
I stare ahead, because I can't bear to look at the girl next to me.

I know i can't keep up, but I won't back down.

Submitted on 2006-03-08 18:54:34 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This is very empowering...I wish I could have written an ode to my sport of choice in high school. I know the feeling, you know you're beaten from the start, but you're not gonna give up...This could apply to so much: life, sports, love...

I know i can't keep up, but I won't back down
| Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
  I love how you make sports sound poetic. But since crew has such a beautiful rhthym to it, i would suggest making your poem more rhthymic to mirror that. otherwise great job, i really enjoyed it.
| Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by secretsuperstar | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed reading this interesting work of free verse. Through sports an athelete can discover much about life. Though poetry the writer can discover much about themselves. Poety should involve the reader and touch them on another, deeper level. You have a good, original theme and you might want to try adding your feelings / emotions to this thoughtful piece through the use of simile. I do agree with the comments about the flow of words in your verse that "secretsuperstar" made. These are just sugestions - not criticisms in any way. I look forward to reading more of your work.
| Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by lookhomeward | [ Reply to This ]

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