For Me To Find by The Gadfly

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: For Me To Find dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	The Gadfly
ASL Info:	51/M/Moreno Valley, CA
Elite Ratio:	3.55 - 1035/1330/360
Words:	75

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	206
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	470

Description:
For Carra, who loves to leave "I love you" notes for me to find. She is seven years old.

ABAAB format; eight syllables per line.

For Me To Find dots

-------------------------------------------

I found the smallest note, addressed
and placed with care for me to find;
red letters happily expressed
her love for me, and I was blessed
to know my heart was on her mind.

As I consumed my lunch tonight,
this note, in crayon, I could see
a little girl had learned to write,
her special treat, now my delight
prepared, in love, for only me.

The Gadfly

Submitted on 2006-03-09 06:11:53 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Ah, the joy of little girls. I sometimes wish mine was young again. This is such a lovely poem. Enjoy her days with you while you can. They are indeed fleeting.

Another enjoyable read by you.

~Sandra
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
  how sweet. What a nice change from what I typically read on here. There's nothing like receiving a surprise note from a loved one. I imagine it's even more special when it's from a child. This was lovely
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
  Awww...this is so sweet! It gives me a warm, lovely, glowy feeling. :)

As for the poem itself, you managed to capture the moment very well, as usual. The words and structure are very simple, nothing 'poetic', no 'lyrical' phrases, yet the style suits the content. If you'd told it in another way, the childlike pleasure you felt upon receiving the note wouldn't have been expressed as well.

Carra obviously inherited her father's love for writing!

| Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
  This is so endearing to read. I use to leave notes for my mother when I was young. I now leave notes for my boyfriend saying I love him. I think this was very sweet and wonderfully written.

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  So simplistic! So sweet!
I think I'll go leave a note for my mother or father now! Makes you appreciative, no?

Shana.
| Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by shana | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

94315

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]