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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: mother naturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 740
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 933



    Description:
       take it away


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    dotsmother naturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    vines that grew up her arms
    and entwined into her hair
    were cut away
    so she could see
    the life that she destroyed
    when she tried to be alone

    the earth that grew under her feet
    and mixed with her tears when it rained
    was dug away
    so she could see how much she was needed

    she was mother nature
    she was the earth
    buried in her hands were seeds of love
    because we all know that love comes from the blossoms of our hearts
    and we understand that she was the one to put them there
    and without her
    we would be alone

    and afraid
    and cold, crying
    left on lifeless ground
    in the core was a fire
    that would eventually burn them all away
    if she didn't seperate the core with her water
    and her fruit
    and tiny blades of grass that grew from her memory




    Submitted on 2006-03-09 10:44:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I must say this was strange, yet interesting. However, I absolutely love the fact that you had that broken stanza thing or what ever you wanna call it, how you continued on to the last stanza with "and"... that was great, I love rebelious poetry, in the structure fashion. Keep up the great work.

    Desser
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Desser | [ Reply to This ]
      This is also beautiful. I like the direction these two pieces are taking you in. I like these parts most of all, just for the beautiful imagery:

    vines that grew up her arms
    and entwined into her hair
    were cut away
    so she could see
    the life that she destroyed
    when she tried to be alone

    the earth that grew under her feet
    and mixed with her tears when it rained
    was dug away
    so she could see how much she was needed

    Kind of personifies Mother Nature as a sort of self-absorbed being who is lost in her own solitude and misery, and doesn't realize that the people around need her. Wait, I'm drawing parallels to myself here. I'm not supposed to, am I? This is beautiful. I think you did a great job.
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


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