Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: mother naturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 775
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 933



    Description:
       take it away


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmother naturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    vines that grew up her arms
    and entwined into her hair
    were cut away
    so she could see
    the life that she destroyed
    when she tried to be alone

    the earth that grew under her feet
    and mixed with her tears when it rained
    was dug away
    so she could see how much she was needed

    she was mother nature
    she was the earth
    buried in her hands were seeds of love
    because we all know that love comes from the blossoms of our hearts
    and we understand that she was the one to put them there
    and without her
    we would be alone

    and afraid
    and cold, crying
    left on lifeless ground
    in the core was a fire
    that would eventually burn them all away
    if she didn't seperate the core with her water
    and her fruit
    and tiny blades of grass that grew from her memory




    Submitted on 2006-03-09 10:44:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I must say this was strange, yet interesting. However, I absolutely love the fact that you had that broken stanza thing or what ever you wanna call it, how you continued on to the last stanza with "and"... that was great, I love rebelious poetry, in the structure fashion. Keep up the great work.

    Desser
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Desser | [ Reply to This ]
      This is also beautiful. I like the direction these two pieces are taking you in. I like these parts most of all, just for the beautiful imagery:

    vines that grew up her arms
    and entwined into her hair
    were cut away
    so she could see
    the life that she destroyed
    when she tried to be alone

    the earth that grew under her feet
    and mixed with her tears when it rained
    was dug away
    so she could see how much she was needed

    Kind of personifies Mother Nature as a sort of self-absorbed being who is lost in her own solitude and misery, and doesn't realize that the people around need her. Wait, I'm drawing parallels to myself here. I'm not supposed to, am I? This is beautiful. I think you did a great job.
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    94346

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Drink written by jjd
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    Bond written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry