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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Asphyxiationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: reveries
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 54/74/23
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 731
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 957



    Description:
       well...this poem is describing an orgasm with asphyxiation (choking)....it's a spoken piece and is read pretty fast...drifting from action to what's going on in her head while not being able to breathe....if you're into asphyxiation it'd probably be alittle easier to understand.....umm..yeah...sorry about all the sex related stuff lately....its just been my mood....*hugs*...enjoy


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAsphyxiationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Asphyxiation~
    That sweet silent
    thupping of heart
    beating-fast
    faster
    She gasps
    silently/
    flowers blossom-wind
    blows leaves-scattering/
    he presses harder
    pushing deeper
    -gasping-
    eyes
    piercing
    cold blue diamonds
    hard/
    October is nice here
    white
          static
    feather-headed joy
    death slowly creeping
    crept upon everything
    euphoric
          Death/He
    smiles
    places hand over her
    heart-
    gasp-
    pounding heart beating
    back at him
    hard
    she shakes/
    branches to feel death
    falling
    loving her like thunder
    soft
    He pounds harder
    cutting her eyes with
    cold blue Autumn rain
    drops-
    Shaking
    gasping
    He lets go-
    Breathe




    Submitted on 2006-03-09 13:25:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wahey, this was actually really cool. My favourite bit is,

    "October is nice here
    white
    static"

    It just seemed so like a flashing thought that would pass through a situation like this, disjointed. The poem fluttered like the beat of her heart, and thus added to the overall rhythm. Bravo, I say.
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Lily George | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my gosh! I really really really enjoyed this. When I read the description I was like oh god this is going to be ridiculous but I completely and totally love it. The rythme and the wording are brilliant. Well done!
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by beldolore | [ Reply to This ]
      After reading this...I at a crossed standstill... I'm thinking TMI and Different (in a good way) at the same time. It's actually nice to read something completely out of the ordinary for once, but then again, it was odd. But hey, what ever floats your boat. I must say though I enjoyed...whether it was TMI or not.

    Desser
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Desser | [ Reply to This ]
      This is...different from the things that i usaully read. but I love your descriptions. I think you did very well in displaying these kinds of feelings and passionate words go a long way with my opinion. Very very good poem.

    peace
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      *laughs* I actually held my breath while reading this. I'm such a dork. *sigh* I liked this. Hte title caught my attention because, come one, how many titles talk about asphyxiation? Me likey.
    Rae
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by losing_focus | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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