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Lost Souls


Author: krs3332003
Elite Ratio:    6.44 - 146 /116 /67
Words: 172
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 2129
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1208



Description:


I wrote this poem while watching the sunset over a group of trees. At the time, the trees seemed to almost become "sad" as the sun was setting. I thought for a moment - what if the trees didn't know that the sun would rise again in the morning?


Lost Souls



A quiet haze settles all around
She bids the day good-bye
Rose-colored shades so silently bound
The hopes of sunlight soon subside

It gently fades to purple hue
She glances at them with a smile
A warm caress that passes through
The lost souls beg her reconcile

Then darkness falls upon her face
She tempts them further no more
Their outreached hands try to embrace
Fallen eyes sustained to ignore

From distant plains of woven night
They gather to weep her demise
Stolen from fears without the light
Love has vanished they surmise

In absent corners of candid fate
Midnight's echo fills the mist
Blankets of reason, a moment too late
Hours like ages desperately insist

Forbidden thoughts of anxious desire
Beckoning hearts from passions within
Enough it would seem to not inspire
Torrid senses that never begin

The heavens relume upon her awaken
Soft-spoken words bid them farewell
Shadows recede, confused and mistaken
Cast forever from love's absent spell




Submitted on 2006-03-09 19:11:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  this was really cool and i really enjoyed reading it. i think it's really cool how you derived that from seeing the sunset over the trees. and the effect was abstract and easy to get into.
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ]
  You certainly got the "sad" feeling in there. It reads fairly smoothly, and begs to be almost whispered when reading aloud.

A couple of the rhymes seem a tad forced, but nothing too harsh, overall, very well done, a tragic story of lost love, dark shadows of night, and dreams. Relume is a great word.
Just one thing, I feel you meant "quiet" in the first line. You can edit your poems after posting by clicking edit/delete then bring up ythe poem and click edit.

Very nice indeed.

be happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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