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    dots Submission Name: the endless smiledots

    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 1048
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 587

       standard 5 words
    (a statue smiling and holding a flute its about to play)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe endless smiledots

    Stand endless in this place,
    Emotions none, with a smile.
    Sweet is silence, no words,
    Happen with an artistís art.

    Cry not cause nothing exists,
    Smile endless with death uncertain.
    Time halted for a moment,
    A stroke! Heart to beat.

    Shall life be living itself?
    Makes history for uncertain future.
    Feelings no hope, hope unknown
    Stand shall I, sweet sour.

    Adored to be cursed, weird
    Hear shall not I forever.
    Content with stone an art,
    Life and death in tune.

    Submitted on 2006-03-10 01:10:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Umm, they pretty much covered the basics... so what does that leave me to say? not much. But i have been reading your works and they are pretty heartfelt and on a variety of topics good write rambling on ramle ramle ramle
    | Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      Happen with an artist's art is the only line that throws off the poem. I liked it all together but that line threw the poem off completely for me. Fix that line and the poem will be excellent
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it..its not something id expect. it was a neat idea. it wasnt something i think about a lot but it was neat.

    good work, good job, blah blah
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      This was pretty cool. I don't really have any suggestions on this because I kinda didn't get it through in through, the artist thing threw me off I think. But overall it was well written and very good.
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

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