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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: make believedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tinasha
    ASL Info:    20/Female/Oklahoma City
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 100/142/41
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 808
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1586



    Description:
       i wanted to be weird...because that's how my relationship is with this person. this mediocre person who thinks life is just a chore. life is experience....not just existence. and he will never get ahead in life with a possible mate or in just being successful if he doesn't realize that you can't sit on life your whole life, you've got to use your legs and run into life's arms....else you're left make believing of what it would be like if you took that chance.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmake believedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Make she a believer that
    hes really what he say he be...
    she sees a jeopardy to sanity
    systematically
    controlling she,
    she who dont need;
    the she is me
    who sees a make believer
    makin everyone believe
    that he,
    he who needs;
    the he is thee
    who specializes in deceit
    adamantly avoids defeat
    by sitting on hes feet...
    so as not to move
    forward
    or backward
    or sideways
    or shes way
    or .period.
    blind to seeing
    the possible meaning
    of living.
    confused that living is existing.
    life calls for eyes wide open;
    make believe happens when he blinks,
    blinks so frequently, he closes his eyes to think.
    wasted time, habitually closed eyes
    while life shifts like the lies in hes daydream,
    and she stays between
    the reality and make-believe
    of hes life debris....
    the reality of hes insanity.
    contradicting what he say he be:
                                                                          alive.





    Submitted on 2006-03-10 15:28:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a great little write and I like the thourghts in it a lot.
    The way I read it, it seems very quick, but kind of slows down in the end. I would have liked if you kept the pace throughout the poem, as I fell it would have made a greater statement - also in regards to reading aloud.

    Well anyhow - nice work
    -tZar
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by tZar | [ Reply to This ]


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    94540

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    January 10 07
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