However, i would like to add that this is an amazing piece. Even the title is great.
As i commented on one of your other pieces, the riming makes me a bit uncomfortable. But on this one, it really does have an impact. You have a wondeful work with so much feeling and power to it, but it is somehow cheapened by the pattern.
It reminds me of "Your Rose Is Fading" a bit.
Some of the best poetry is that that has no reason, something just strikes you out of the clear blue.
Once again, this is a fabulous work! Keep it up. I will continue to read your works when i get time.
Please don't take anything i say to heart - i am not trying to rip the piece apart.
Dear Darcey D, I did like this, I agree with slits n fits that it was full of emotion. I think a little more could be added to it, but the problem is I dont know where. To me several stories came from this, and caused me to think quite a bit. I liked it and would like to know more about it. -canarddoue
You are very right about sometimes poems needing no true explination or desciption...but anyways back to the write...this was nice. i like the shorter poems(as long as they have umph)because they are quick to the point and cut out alot of unneccisary things. for some poems that is untrue..but for this one..it is great the way it is. i disagree with canarddoue..it also made me think of so much and sparked my curiousity..but i dont want to know more about it..it draws me in and makes me want to read more of your works. xoxox me p.s.check out some of my stuff sometime too.