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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Pathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lostpoet25
    ASL Info:    25/m/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.01 - 36/36/8
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 198
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 879



    Description:
       I want to know if you truly understand it. Does it touch you? Is it a poem you will remember?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Pathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We tread upon paths shrouded in darkness,
    following blindly the echoes of our hearts.
    Constantly moving, souls bound in unrest,
    vague longings of a peace never found.
    Perverted reality brought to bear
    upon the world as a whole.
    For just a spark of light, of truth,
    we'd sell our precious souls.
    The shadows converge, tracing our steps,
    seeking to cause us to falter.
    Deeper in darkness, among its caress,
    we travel the soft velvet nighht.
    Sanity is lost among twisted dreams,
    glimpsed by the conscious mind.
    The end is perceived, thogh never quite seen
    for death is unknown to itself.
    So as we continue, pressing endlessly on,
    the cycle is unbroken, unchanged.
    Though the choices we make may cause us to veer,
    the path yet remains the same.




    Submitted on 2006-03-11 02:54:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I find this piece to be truly fascinating. The title, for one, is accurate and acquires more sense every time one reads the poem.

    The ending line is, in my opinion the one that links everything together smoothly and eloquently.

    Your poem was highly original, though at parts it seemed as though you could have used better diction. Nonetheless, well done on an excellent piece!
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by HansRik | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the way life in general is questioned by the writer. We all tread our lives in a shroud, be it of darkness or of light. The darkness to me is uncertainty, or the unknown, where we all fear. The end of the road we all know, but are hesitant on what it actually means... We all bid the highest dollar to things that mean more security, thinking that it'd lead us to happiness... But in fact, the path for us is all the same, despite the many changes we might make to our lives, our end is clear... death...
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by unREMb | [ Reply to This ]
      I'll try and give this a crack. lol. I gather the path is life and we are always moving for we are awlays growing. The darkness is the unpleasant things in life. The cycle is unbroken because life never cease to be on the path of life. Or you were speaking of rebirth. The end is death, we know about it, but do not understand it. We go about searching for truth and feel empty without it. And would kill to know the exact truth as to why we are here and what is meant for us to do while here. I hope I'm close. lol. This was a very good poem and I think that you described mankind in a very creative manner. Good flow and imagery.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi and welcome to this site. I have only been around for a short time myself, but I have learned a great amount in the short time that I have been actively participating here. Everyone seems very sincere and appreciative...well worth your time I think.

    Ok, I think your first writing here is a good one. I think you have written some very strong verses, producing thought provoking images. Will I remember it...yes in this case I will because it reminds me of my first writing submitted here called Easy Street. I think we both are using the same subject to write about. Searching for lifes meaning...right?

    I look forward to reading more of your work. It is very good.
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by Daokao | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I am suprised that you don't write more...you are good at writing...if you write more you should post them, no matter what you think about them...trust me...i used to think i sucked..but i just posted some poems anyways...and now i post about 50% of my stuff on here :)
    i dont post on my old site anymore. but it is there to check out. if you want to...go to my page and click on numb under the stalked list. ty.
    Please keep writting...i love your work.
    xoxo,
    me
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by 2Numb | [ Reply to This ]
      I understand what you are trying to explain, but it is hard for me to explain in words. I must say that this is a very touching write. Great job on it, I must say. I don't think that I will remember this poem, but I will remember you who wrote it. I read many poems each day and it is hard to remember the poems. But I try my best to remember the writers.

    Great Job
    Thanks for sharing this poem
    Oh, and welcome to the sight,

    *Abbas*
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]



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