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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: neverplacedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dismentled
    ASL Info:    26/M/"South of Heaven"
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 625/583/217
    Words: 235
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 1009
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1630



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsneverplacedots
    -------------------------------------------


    when all your dreams come true
    and all your tragedies fade away
    the sky seemingly raining blue
    and the scars have all decayed...

    wouldn't it be
    a better place; to be now(2 B now)
    wouldn't it be;
    a world we could love?(if we could love)

    but all the children are dying
    inside their shattered dreams
    and all the soldiers are dying
    in a world not ready for peace
    streets continuely crying out in vain
    left from all the broken homes
    tears frozen upon moms heart
    choice between her "needs'" or my own

    but the world keeps on smiling
    doing whatever it may
    blissfully ignorant by choice
    shots' fired a mile away

    but everything is Wonderful!
    everything is Fuckin' fine!
    when all you ever wanted
    contorts rightly to your design______
    and everything is peachy
    all the world Fuckin' keen!
    so long as you're ignorant
    and you've your everything

    raped of my precious innocence
    'fore i even knew just what it ment
    why god must you hate us?
    why must my wrists bleed red?
    hoped and prayed every night
    but couldn't hear a thing you said
    the whick now burning down
    fore i even knew what life ment

    why must you hate me god?!!!!(GOD!!!!)
    why was i born a damned soul?
    can hell really be much worse than this?
    no more, no more , no more, no more

    (whoosh)...




    Submitted on 2006-03-11 04:38:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      Natchez Trace by Dusty Springfield now - kinda bluesy and went well with these lyrics too - I love fun coinkidinks!

    You have a keen way for lyrics I sense and you put a lot of emotion in a sincere yet strong way. Do you play in a band?

    good!
    love,peace,joy&smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this.I think im gonna add it to my favorites.All i can sya is good job and i really liked it.I really liked the 3rd and sixth stanza.
    Good job!
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by suicidal_chick | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this. Especially the fifth stanza. The sarcasm in that one was awesome. On a personal note, though, I don't think someone with your talent is cursed by God. Maybe forsaken by man, not not cursed by a higher being. Life will carry on, and probably carry you to a better place. Keep on living, and keep on writing.
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]
      Really enjoyed it. You gave it a great flow and wonderful views on todays manotany. Pleased to hear someone write about the world today with out complete sorrow and woe. Great job.
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by bbcakes1115 | [ Reply to This ]


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