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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tsunamidots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: greensnake
    ASL Info:    60/female/ N.C.
    Elite Ratio:    4.17 - 770/691/75
    Words: 14
    Class/Type: Haiku/Serious
    Total Views: 1031
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 96



    Description:
       Sometimes nature reminds us that we are not the lords of the earth. My grand daughter inspired this poem. She had several phrases that she could use in a poem. Tectonic plates was one, but not the one she chose. I realize that this is not really a haiku as it does not have the 5-7-5 structure, but I was unsure what else to call it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTsunamidots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tectonic plates are shifting.
    The earth forms anew
    As oceans wash the shore clean.




    Submitted on 2006-03-11 07:27:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Lynn,

    I think it's just right as is. But I don't think you have to name it
    anything but poetry, then the form makes no difference. I've translated a form or two and never worried a bit about it.

    You and your granddaughter sent me reeling to the dictionary because I remembered tectonic in regard to forming the earth's crust.

    I'm thinking we ought to go for a meringue, don't you? it's not so permanent and has some elasticity?

    Great job, hope all is well with you,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Very, very descritive. This is a good solid write. Who cares if it's only one syllable short. Whatever it's called, it certainly is an asset to the writer.

    Carol
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good nature haiku. The only suggestion I can give you is that you need one more syllable in your last line to make seven. I really dont care for rules in poetry but I think it is suppose to have seven in that line. Otherwise a moving haiku about a very seriously tragic natural occurance. I actually watched a two hour special the other night about this on the discovery channel. It was really fascinating and informative. Nature can be so beautiful yet also so catastrophic as well. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very good. I never seen a haiku done in a 7-5-7 meter. Very interesting. Ron is right, you did use 6 instead of 7. This was very easy to follow and spoke so much truth. I live in a city in CA that was struck by a tsunami 40 something years ago. And to see the pictures of the damage and stare at the Pacific ocean, only makes me appreciate you haiku more. Again, this was very good.
    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      
    Ok Lynn,
    I walked all the way over here to read this poem, now explain to me what Tectonic Plates are so I can understand it better. I feel like it has something to do with the earth shifting during an earthquake. Tsunami's are so destructive I just don't think I would want to live anywhere there was a chance of hav'n one.
    !doc'
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it. It has that cool little intertwining of science and poetry in like.
    It good as it is but maybe you could add a few more Haikus with it about the same thing to go with the main idea to tell somewhat of a story. That could really capture the destructiveness of a tsunami. Good poem and great subject! Keep writing!
    -Jess
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by Caiss Prejent | [ Reply to This ]
      This is creative
    Yes a tsunami is dangerous and can bring death to many
    But I like how you showed the rains also bring new life
    Now dont get me wrong I am not saying tsunamis are all good
    But I believe you were trying to find a positive to a negative
    And that my friend I give you credit for
    God Bless
    Ron
    Also
    Not that I am trying to nitpick but the last line only has 6 beats insted of 7 you might want to go back over that line and add
    But that my friend is totally up to you
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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