I agree with bbcakes, yet was used too much. I think that is what took away from the meaning of the poem. Also the way it flowed threw me off it broke off of the lines too quickly. I did however like the idea that you put into the poem. The thought of trying so hard and being laughed at everytime I fail makes me mad. To me it felt like you were just waiting for the day you succeded just to see the look on that person's face.
Yet was used almost too much. I kinda got board with it. Eventhough it really had alot of meaning. I really understood that you felt trapped. You did well but not great. good luck on your next piece. Sorry