Description: Just a little ditty about looking about at the night sky, shooting stars, making wishes, and just wondering. Treat each line as its own thought. There is no rhyming scheme or any sort of beat - it's all about contemplation; that's all...
Simply So -------------------------------------------
Embrace the moment
Pieces of eternity
Bound by fate
Enveloped with reverie
Pools of thought
Disappear in tomorrow
Chasing after time
Forever it seems
In skyward glance
Millions to delight
i don't really feel an 'wholeness' to this piece. it seems to be begging for understanding, but it lacks the communication to make the connection. maybe that's just me. glad anyone else could understand this one.
I really like how you made this poem. Each line is like a separate story but then kinda goes together as a whole with the rest of the poem. I really like that and that its so simple and doesnt have any hidden meanings or symbols cause i'm never good at figuring that stuff out, lol. But i agree with fredmelden that "millions to delight" does seem a little out of place with the rest of your peom. But the rest of it was fine, i liked it.
"Millions to delight" seems out of place. Otherwise, a nice poem. Not particularly complex, nor demonstrative of great skill, yet very nice in its simplicity. However, your description is a bit misleading. There has obviously been some attempt at structural and meter consistency, which implies to me that you have a sensitivity to them both. Keep writing. I like what you've done here, and believe your skills will develop to a high level. Nice work. fred