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    dots Submission Name: Mother Moon, Child Waterdots

    Author: akaietowa-ru_18
    ASL Info:    20/F/Belly of the Beast
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 101/125/64
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1139
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1209

       I know this is a peice of....well....shit! I havn't been able to write for months now. First attempt in something that's actually meaningful, but it's just a peice of trash. Arggh.... please don't kill me for this...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMother Moon, Child Waterdots

    A twinkle,
    a glimmer,
    a little winkle.
    Far far above a small saphire liquid.

    Little light so far,
    has great power.
    To lift and unlift the soft blanket.
    The blanket a small blue child uses to cloak itself with.

    They seem like ripples (they may be)
    But I see wrinkles only of the soft fabric.
    I bet the twinkle does too.

    Monsters comes in many shape.
    Yet most have the same role for life.
    Their destiny determined as well.
    To only disrupt this loving picture.

    To this is why the child hides.
    The twinkly only shines brighter.
    A soft caress comes to help smooth out the wrinkles.
    Yes all of this is soothing me instead of the invisible blue.

    One more peice of thread falls into the liquid fabric.
    It came from me, shed from me for the child.
    The caress picks up as gentle touches go past my cheek.

    Looking up I see the twinkle glow fainter.
    "A mother moon, and a child water."
    Was all that was said as the wrinkles continue.
    Last thoughts of wanting to carry the bundle myself.

    Submitted on 2006-03-12 00:40:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yeah...this needs some more work done to it. I would advise a better flow and clarity of this poem. I think also keep the imagery...just make this more clearer to the reader. Great imagery, I commend you for that. Just improve the flow and add more meaning and depht to this one. Not bad for coming out of writer's block. Keep at it.

    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

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