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    dots Submission Name: Untitleddots

    Author: marigold
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 182/203/89
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1119
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 968


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    They laughed and smiled mockingly,
    their taunts were carried by the breeze,
    their weedling eyes they turned to me,
    "tell us again, you straw-head, please?"

    "with pleasure" I replied to them,
    "the lightbulb in the lamp went out,
    the hallway once so bright, was dark,
    the dim-lit shadows full of doubt.

    the scent of stale perfume was vague
    and clinging to the cobwebbed walls.
    inside the room the shutters tried
    to keep out what the cold rain calls.

    it's voice rang in my ears, I stood
    and counted raindrpos as they fell.
    but then I felt a breath near me,
    the whisp'ring of the softest spell.

    and turning slowly I beheld
    a vanished presence far away."
    "oh but that's priceless!" so they jeered,
    and with mock sterness, "you don't say!"

    Submitted on 2006-03-12 13:30:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was awesome. I really enjoyed it. I like how you can take a simple theme, like someone who saw, or thought they saw, a ghost, and turn it into something like this. You truly have talent.
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]
      intresting no doupt, lost me a few times but in over all understandable. I liked the way the poem was layed out and your choice of vocab.
    Take care,
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by Yoki | [ Reply to This ]

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