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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Colorsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mugsy
    ASL Info:    68/M/Sooke/ B.C./Can.
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 138/106/35
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Misc
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 342



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsColorsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Scarlet was redder then
    And brilliant green
    Not now so bold
    And blue
    Of far away seas
    Near now
    But not then,
    For my part a cause
    To wonder,
    What of gold
    The gilded moon,
    Not so distant after all
    The mystery gone
    Or simply
    A lack of illusion....




    Submitted on 2006-03-12 18:50:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      HI again Mugsy,

    Scarlet was redder then
    And brilliant green
    Not now so bold
    And blue
    Of far away seas
    Near now
    But not then,
    For my part a cause
    To wonder,
    What of gold
    The gilded moon,
    Not so distant after all.


    I loved this --except I think it would be stronger without the last three lines. It seems like an attempt to explain why the mystery has left but it doesn't really do that. As for me, I'm satisfied with leaving it a bit of a mystery.

    I feel crappy criticizing your poetry because I think you have a wonderful way with it and an obvious talent, so who am I to tell you anything -- but I guess that's what we come here for. Right?

    Annie
    | Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]
      You really manage to evoke colour in this, you can almost feel the intensity of the natural pigments. well done, a really effective piece. charlie x
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by Charlie Poppins | [ Reply to This ]
      Simple, yet complex, I like this, this is a deep one, I had to read It all before I got it. The format is nice too. It seems like you really did think about it, and it shows. Great Piece! *Keep up the great work*

    Singlerose:)
    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by SingleRose | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem truly makes be think. It is very deep and it looks like you put a lot og thought into it . . . . . The imagery was great, too.

    < U n p e R F e C t 3 3 3
    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by UnPerfect | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful.
    You have quite that way with words and as of this piece (def. a new favourite) I am intriqued to read more.
    Your word choice diction and imagery are just fabulous in this piece
    bravo.
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by NeonOrangePrize | [ Reply to This ]


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