Scarlet was redder then
And brilliant green
Not now so bold
And blue
Of far away seas
Near now
But not then,
For my part a cause
To wonder,
What of gold
The gilded moon,
Not so distant after all
The mystery gone
Or simply
A lack of illusion....
Scarlet was redder then And brilliant green Not now so bold And blue Of far away seas Near now But not then, For my part a cause To wonder, What of gold The gilded moon, Not so distant after all.
I loved this --except I think it would be stronger without the last three lines. It seems like an attempt to explain why the mystery has left but it doesn't really do that. As for me, I'm satisfied with leaving it a bit of a mystery.
I feel crappy criticizing your poetry because I think you have a wonderful way with it and an obvious talent, so who am I to tell you anything -- but I guess that's what we come here for. Right?
Simple, yet complex, I like this, this is a deep one, I had to read It all before I got it. The format is nice too. It seems like you really did think about it, and it shows. Great Piece! *Keep up the great work*
Beautiful. You have quite that way with words and as of this piece (def. a new favourite) I am intriqued to read more. Your word choice diction and imagery are just fabulous in this piece bravo.
Submission Name: Colors
