Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Bitter World


Author: bbcakes1115
ASL Info:    22/f/ut
Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 35 /27 /16
Words: 28
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 818
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 184



Description:


This one is from about 9 years ago that I wrote just while thinking about things. Its short but sweet let me know what you think.


Bitter World



A deep burning
In a cherished heart
A sacred longing
in a silent soul
A wasted dream
in an aged mind
Constant change
in a bitter world




Submitted on 2006-03-13 10:50:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I like the way you write stright from the heart The poem was stright and right to the point little word of advice when your writing from the heart search deep close your eyes and take a deep breath and focus on what ever your writing in other words make you words feel. i hope you understand what i'm saying. try it out and let me know how it works also come check out my page maby you can help me out!
| Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by emcgehee78 | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



94777