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The race is on


Author: bbcakes1115
ASL Info:    22/f/ut
Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 35 /27 /16
Words: 74
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 801
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 431



Description:


I was asked by a teacher to write about racing and well this is all I could think to write. Let me know how it makes you feel and if you think I could have done anything different. Thanks


The race is on



My foot hits the pedal
I smell the smoke from the tires
Speeding by the other guy
I know I am going to beat him
But does he know
Soon I loose control of the wheel
I am in the air
tossing back and forth
My head smacks the steering wheel
I never thought it would end like this
I hear the sirens
but it's too late
The car explodes and I am gone.




Submitted on 2006-03-13 10:51:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
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Comments



Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



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