Description: Inspired by a toastmaster at a wedding who'd had a little too much to drink...
To Love! -------------------------------------------
Friends now raise your glasses
for sorrows we must drown!
Swallow melancholic words
of a broken-hearted clown
I speak now of a dream
long since robbed of innocence
Men, a toast to Love
Friends please stay awhile
share with me in my grief
Do not gaze so incredulous
with your stares of disbelief!
I admit; you all did warn me
that never would she stay
and it's true, she left just memories
of all our yesterdays
Like a life spent at the traffic lights;
I feel I've got nowhere
whilst a girl gave me her love;
long since beyond repair
Time ravaged on us both
and caused her love to fade
Friends, behold my tears;
a lonely fool here on parade!
She wrapped me in loves blanket;
sadly since become unfurled
and now I find no comfort;
no comfort in this world
No more nights of romance,
kisses witnessed by the stars
and though Time may mend my heart
I shall always feel the scars
So do not fall into misfortune
learn from my mistake:
let love into your heart
for empty hearts can only ache
Though love may ebb and flow
like the turning of the tide
Be wary of the currents,
should you swim the Sea of Pride
Yes Time keeps marching on
ignoring dreams and beliefs
and standing here before you
affords me no relief
But forgive my being dull;
speaking only of myself
Now a toast to you, my friends:
"Here is to your health!"
This is quite well written. The pain that you depict in this can be understood by so many, yet so few can find that pain. I love your works they show me whole new descriptions of motions I have written on and felt. I continue to be awed by your works of art. Loveage, Mike
My friend this poem I actually find quite beautiful You are reaching out with your heart to others venturing into Love I really like and respect that Very Good Write
By the way Thank You for the comments You gave me My Friend I would never take what someone says the wrong way I appreciate that you took the time to comment on my work I take what you said very serious and will definately consider it in the future Please keep in touch God Bless Ron
This is a very good poem. I enjoyed reading this one. I got a kick out of the description here and it made me curious to see what was going to transpire in the poem. I couldnt help but smile at some parts even though this is a heartbreak kinda write but the satire here is great. Usually you think of these kinds of toasts as happy and life long kinda blah blah blah but you really made this into something really very good and entertaining as well. Your rhyme and flow are perfect. The words really just rolled right off the tongue from one line to the next. Nothing but good things to say from me. A very good poem. Take care.
You know there is so much emotion in this poem,I am really impressed by it. It kept my attention throughout the entire poem and that is a hard thing to do especially on a poem this long. No doubt it is an instant fav and I gonna vote it pretty darn cool because I liked it so much. You painted such a sad picture here but you did it so well, so, Pat yourself on the back and be proud of this one!
I too, thought the length was long at first glance.. but then, I got so caught up in your poem that I hardly noticed. The rhyming is hardly noticeable as well and makes it read much easier. Good writing.
You brought everything out so decriptively. The man's emotional state; his regrets and longing. You have a great opening stanza, and all that follows fits so well together.
There are a few spots that didn't hold the rhythm but overall this is a wonderful piece.
I really like this one. Funny yet very serious. I like the idea of the toastmaster spending his time telling everyone about his problems. To me this was as funny as it gets. And the details make you just want to buy this poor fellow a drink, as if he needs anymore, lol. Over all a pleasent experience. I especially liked the ending.
Ah, you cynical romantic you! You must have channeled "The Wedding Singer" into this glimpse of self absorbed misery masquerading as a warning to all the married/soon to be married hoarde. This toast has less to do with'she done him wrong' and much more to do with 'he done her wrong and got burned for his troubles'; no doubt there's an undertone of denial as to meting out blame proportionally to both halves of the toastmaster's trainwreck lovelife that paints this piece as a tragedy, not a comedy. Well done, sir! Take care of yourself, Jay. Bill.
Long time no seen. How have you been? I just had to read this piece cause it was an inspiration to have this love in our hands. Now that i have read the piece, i look back at the title and realize that this poem is indeed about toasting and telling a story that shows this need to love.
I think that you have structured this piece with purity and inspiration. It's almost amazing to watch such length has been written and yet noticing that it is complete and says everything that needs to be said. I haven't even noticed the length. That's how good this piece really is. And the structure is also amazing. You have used the rhyme system and i haven't even noticed it until the last stanza. The flow just went amazingly well. I have nothing much to complain with.
The idea behind it is also inspirational. on most times, drunk people realize the truth better than those who are sobber and their tears are more openly spoken than those who keep this sorrow inside and torture themselves over it. Maybe it was a time to celebrate that he got drunk and it was a perfect opportunity who haven't screwed up yet to look at this love and never let it go because it is so precious and worth having.
Your piece overall, is amazing. I had such joy reading this. Congrads. Hope to talk to you soon again. Take care... Irina
The opening four lines really grabbed me and compelled me to read on. Love does seem to be the catalyst for drinking, 9 times out of 10. I liked the way you used the words "swallow melancholic words" to describe getting inebriated. In the third group of lines, I admire the creative way you described not having made any progress in the love relationship by writing "like a life spent at the traffic lights". Overall, it reminded me of the movie "the Wedding Singer" and like the character in that movie, I got the sense that the one proposing this toast was disillusioned but there is still a small hope that love will come to him again and this time he will get it right. :)
Your words are moving to fate. for i have been there and Yet i linger but knows its still not to late. Thank u for the kind reminder of still another date yes its true its never to late. However the scars still hold there fate but shant be long i can hardly wait . I will be more open minded and try not to drown Gannondalf aka the clown. I never really thought about a pome of such occurence perhapes in the future i will tell my own version thanks for the words that summed it up well
wow. you've definitely got the flow in this one down quite nicely.
i loved the rhyming you've used in this. a lot of times i find rhyming to sound rather elementary but i dont think it took away from this piece. i think it helped it!
i kind of thought the ending was kind of commical. ...here this guy is giving a toast and all he is doing is sitting there and dwelling and then he changes it up a the end and say here is to your health...i dont know thought it was kinda funny.
but everything you said in this is so true. ...and i think it can hit home for a lot of people. i'm sure a lot of people have felt this way. ..and you've done a great job of capturing the feeling with words. and i like that it is in the form of a toast. i thought that was unique and different. ..
i liked this one a lot. i think im going to add it to my favorites!