Sleeping Beauty by faln

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Submission Name: Sleeping Beauty dots

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Author:	faln_angl
ASL Info:	25/f/MN
Elite Ratio:	4.66 - 99/96/17
Words:	79

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	160
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	557

Description:

Sleeping Beauty dots

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I used to dream you came to me,
like a knight in shining armor
Answering the wish I'd made
upon so many stars.
I'd cry myself to sleep
with heartbreak tears,
Just so you could come
rescue me from all my fears.

Only your kiss will break
my endless slumber,
I'll know then it's real
and I'll always remember
That you're my prince charming,
my happily-ever-after.
Let me be Princess Aurora,
your true love forever.

Submitted on 2006-03-13 17:38:32 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
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||| Comments |||
  I normally dont read love poems because i dont like love. But in this poem while reading the first lines, i became entranced and read the rest. But it is kinda like the "same" as like other love poems with the "shining armor description" I've seen that a lot of times and feel its overused and if you could find some other way to describe that, it would have been better. But i did like these lines here

"Answering the wish I'd made
upon so many stars"

I've never thought about it that way or read something like that so to me it was original, nice job there. This wasn't a bad poem, just needs a little tweaking to make it sound a little better.
| Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]
  My dearest Princess;

You most definitely portrayed a sense of passion in this poem. I cannot wait until I can break your endless slumber. I think that might be the first thing I do when I see you. I'm continually amazed by your poetry. I'm enamored with every one of your poems. You put such a sense of passion, love, and longing into your work, that it leaves me constantly wanting more.

~Corey
| Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by Ravenwood | [ Reply to This ]
  i haven't read too many good love poems lately...but i really liked this. this was great...the way you brought in the story but didn't just use that...like it had an underlined meaning. i really liked it.

I am going to add it to my favorites list. great work. keep it up girl...keep it up.

xoxo,
me
p.s. come check out my stuff...later on i will look at more of your stuff as well.
| Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by 2Numb | [ Reply to This ]
  the subject is a little sickly sweet, but i can empathise completely with the sentiment. i find it difficult to read poems which re-work an already used theme because as you read you sort of know whats round the corner, you know? My suggestion (if you dont mind me barging in and throwing suggestions around) is simply that you try to write something which isnt worked upon another poem/story etc, OR that when you do this, because it can be really effective, simply that you give it a really personal twist which no one else could have come up with. that way you cant be accused of the dreaded 'cliché'.

hope you get your prince
ellisa
| Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by ellisa | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed how sweet & simple this was, simple yet elegant.
always nice.
It was a nice piece to take you out of this world for a moment & remember the classic tale of sleeping beauty.
There you are waiting for him to come, to be your everything. The begining was more of the sorrow of waiting, the second part more hopefull.
nice job-
take care
~jennifer
| Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]

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