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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: History's Forgotten Pastdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HansRik
    ASL Info:    19/male/United Kingdom
    Elite Ratio:    5.93 - 78/55/9
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 237
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1088



    Description:
       This poem takes several ideas from modern phsyics: quantum theory tells us that all the interacting pieces within the quantum field affects everything else, so we are One entity. Time and space are illusionary constraints create by the mind. Astrophysics also suggests that "we are made of stardust", since our organic components could have only been formed following a supernova. For further clarification, do not hesitate to contact me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHistory's Forgotten Pastdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The fragile existence sounds in the wind,
    As a shattered memory.

    Decaying history,
    Overridden by the crows’ prelude to Death
    In an empty realm of dark, intangible instruments.

    The storms whisper of a pitiable past,
    An artificial present withering away into a
    Futile future.

    The rainy rampage collapses into infinity-
    A mystery dissolving like ice:

    Life.

    ‘Tis here, the old Story is told:
    We are all made of stardust,

    An accident in the history of the universe.
    An explosion (a mistake) that formed the infinite possibilities of randomness.
    But we are all One, we are Naught.

    We are all made of stardust; we are all made of History.

    These ethereal realities never cease to implode
    Within the vastness of emptiness.

    Eternity exists in one second’s thought; the entirety, in my palm.




    Submitted on 2006-03-13 21:06:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      The beginning was confusing, but once you got past the first few lines it started to become amazing. This line right here is one of those lines you read, and it strikes you dead. You know what I mean? Like when I read the story Perks of Being a Wallflower, the line in the story, " And in this moment I am infinite." It just struck me dead; it'll haunt me forever whenever I am doing something.


    Submission Name: History's Forgotten Past
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HansRik
    ASL Info: 18/male/United Kingdom

    Elite Ratio: 6.54 - 75/43/7
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 34
    Average Vote: 5.0000
    Bytes: 1088






    Commentary type requested: Unspecified
    [ Recent comments given by HansRik. ]

    Description:


    This poem takes several ideas from modern phsyics: quantum theory tells us that all the interacting pieces within the quantum field affects everything else, so we are One entity. Time and space are illusionary constraints create by the mind. Astrophysics also suggests that "we are made of stardust", since our organic components could have only been formed following a supernova. For further clarification, do not hesitate to contact me.

    ‘Tis here, the old Story is told:
    We are all made of stardust,

    This is one of them, and the following sentances after, just absolutely amazing. There was no need for a rhyming you had it all in your message.

    The rainy rampage collapses into infinity-
    A mystery dissolving like ice:

    Life.

    ‘Tis here, the old Story is told:
    We are all made of stardust,

    An accident in the history of the universe.
    An explosion (a mistake) that formed the infinite possibilities of randomness.
    But we are all One, we are Naught.

    We are all made of stardust; we are all made of History.

    These ethereal realities never cease to implode
    Within the vastness of emptiness.

    Eternity exists in one second’s thought; the entirety, in my palm.


    These parts are perfect. Esepcially how I you strike deep that we are random, nothing designed, empty, and yet vast in our possiblities.

    Keep in touch. I hope we can talk sometime on yahoo or something. winterdove10 if you ever have the time.


    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by winterdove | [ Reply to This ]
      It’s interesting poem, I really liked it. The subject is interesting, something you rarely see around.
    The first part of the poem is a bit vague in some places. The other part is much more clearer, and it caries nice massage. The flow is not good, but I think it could be easily improved by formatting. Minor changes in line length would make this piece read much better.
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm practically Brain Fried at the moment and it took a while before I knew what you wrote. This is a deep write and it needed my attention to get the contents. It's a bit mysterious and I like that. The wording was also good, they fit in just fine. It didn't read that fluent, I missed a little bit of rhyming, but I consider the words more important. Maybe rhyme wouldn't even fit. Anyway, I think especially the first part is good.


    darth Zeus.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW, this was really good. I know that I don't even know you, but I think that you are a pimp. You are extremely smart, and that is a very sexy, and attractive trait to have. Some how I think that I would like to stay in touch with you because I may be able to learn some valuable things. This was an extremely good write, and I am looking forward to reading some more of your work!
    ~Alyssa~
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm, you seem to be quite the intellectual type, that's chill. Personally i prefer poems with emotion written fromt he heart, or angst, what have you. however, that is not to say i do not like this piece. it is by all means art, and deffinatley well done. creative, as well as innovatice, nice.
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo.. I really liked this.. You had me with...

    The rainy rampage collapses into infinity-
    A mystery dissolving like ice:

    Beautifully written... More please
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by manicsmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow this is an amazing poem. I loved the imagery and descriptions. It really makes you think about what our lives really mean. It definitely made me think. The only lines I didn't really understand were lines 18 and 19. Just didn't see what you were saying there. Maybe you could explain it for me? Anyway, great piece. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by lostpoet25 | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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