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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Still Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 471
    Average Vote:    2.5000
    Bytes: 610



    Description:
       <@> have 0 idea where this came from but it was like a little waking dream for a moment ?

    Blessings & love,peace,joy & smilez 2 share


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStill Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I find mySELF awake
    sitting
    in the midst
    of a lush
    forest green

    <@> AM
    conversing
    with the trees
    ALL they've heard
    & seen

    All the years
    of plenty
    the daunting
    times
    of lean

    The Wind
    whispers
    to me
    close your eyes
    & hear

    Raise your arms
    into the sky
    to grasp
    the rain
    & "IT" becomes
    so clear

    Still Life









    Submitted on 2006-03-14 17:48:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was relaxing, and the end unexpected. it came out of nowhere, with an abruptness. kinda like going head on with a bunch of pillows, because of how suiting it is, for this piece. bye now
    | Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      still life sounds like you are caught in the painting!

    Aaaaah! I am stuck in this beautiful painting and I can't get out! Quick! Get the paint thinner!

    What do the trees say to you when they talk to you?
    Let me guess....
    "Give us more water, please!"
    "Hug me!"
    "Do these roots make me look fat?"
    "Does my hair have a lot of split ends?"

    As I close my eyes, the wind whispers to me. It tells me that my love is alright. She is far away from me, but the wind tells me how she is doing (reference to 'nothing lasts forever' by YOURS TRULY (ME))

    I want to grasp the rain so that I can put it in a bottle to save it for a sunny day so that I can make it a rainy day. Or maybe use it to fill a pool that I wish I had in my backyard so that I can walk on the water and blue is a pretty color for H2O.

    Ha ha ha!

    The daunting times of lean! A famine that strikes to the heart of the stomach of all!
    "Please sir! I want some more!"
    "More? More?"
    "Yes sir!"
    "Well, then...WE MUST KUNG-FU FIGHT!"
    "I shall destroy you, you flabby old gut man! I want some more of that porridge!"

    And the still life becomes complete.
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a lovely nature poem. I can always count on you to write a wonderful poem about connecting with nature. Reading this felt very soothing with a true sense of appreciation for nature, a beautiful thing so many people seem to take for granted every day. You sound like one with nature throughout this write. And your description is thought provoking too. A waking dream. I like that. Kinda like that state where you are sleeping but on the edge of consciousness. Lovely imagery here. As always a beautiful poem. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very peaceful and soothing to wind. I do the same thing when I am out in the Redwoods. The wind say so much to you if you listen closely enough. You did a great job with this as far as imagery is concern and flow.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      i love how you converse with the trees and listen to the wind whispering.. a true nature child, you are! i forget sometimes, in the midst of this depression, that nature is beautiful with all its gifts for us, and it's free for the taking if we open ourselves up instead of closing down and shutting out the world.

    thanks, i needed that Tiff!!

    love,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, vintage Tiffany! and bloody nice, too. I'm with Sandra, you can't see the moss if you're running past the rocks at full speed...

    nicely done Tifferoo

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's nice to be in tune with SELF and nature.
    I like the idea of conversing with the trees.. and all they've heard and seen.
    Sometimes you have to be "still" to enjoy "life".

    Nice one!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      What does this poem have to do with still life? I don't see the connection, don't get me wrong it's pretty good your line lengths are a little iffy but you have something here. It doesn't really end either, which is kind of um...bad. What the heck is <@> AM? it sounds like your trying to swear, so if you are just do it. It's choppy, especially the second stanza, it needs to flow a little bit better, it needs to be fluid like a river. Nice try but, work on it you have a good idea but sand it down and then laquere it.

    Paco the Poet of Arson
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by Flamequill | [ Reply to This ]
      Megan, I much prefer the rhyming stuff
    Of that it is quite plain
    I've told you that you're very good
    And I'll say it once again
    This is a little stone of gems
    That sparkles in the night
    Appreciating beauty
    And you do it oh so right

    Rhyming Ricky
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]


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