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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What He Thinksdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Hip-Hop Honey
    ASL Info:    16/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 105/86/31
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Poetry/You left me
    Total Views: 843
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1117



    Description:
       Last night I went to a friends party and my best friend Matt was there and he got really jealous because I had moved on and I was with my b/f..And well when I got home I wrote a poem from his perspective about how he felt and what he thought during the night..Hope you like it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat He Thinksdots
    -------------------------------------------


    These little mind games
    You play with me
    Must signify that you don't love me
    Like back when,when we used to be
    And all you could think about was
    That we were meant to be
    And now you tell me to move on
    That I just wasn't the one
    But damn girl you just don't understand
    That my love for you is inflicted
    By your command
    When ever you walk by or stare into my eyes
    I can't help but think that
    I'm trapped in this lie
    A world where I am free to believe
    That things will always be the same
    Between you and me
    But baby girl this is how it ends
    All you want to be now is friends
    That doesn't cut it for me though
    The sound of your voice
    The look of your face will always led me to believe
    That I'm living for something
    That will never be
    In the end I always reminace about those days
    The days we used to be happy and carefree
    And this is what I felt the night
    I layed there and looked in your eyes




    Submitted on 2006-03-14 18:43:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ITs interesting to here one side of the story. I can only imagine how far off you really are.. Ha. Im joking, but at the same time, maybe he is playing a game with you. ? For you to write or vent whichever fits, about him symbolizes something.
    the post had simple good rhymes, with a better flow. IF anything these lyrics were creative.

    SinCeerly
    Sin
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good I liked how u made it from his point of view. I really liked the ending. I know how he has felt one to many times, and it's really painful. Once again I don't really like the use of Boy or girl in the poems, but it's your thing, and also like I said try ot be more desctiptive in your feelings make them a methaphor or similie (I can't spell) but it was a good poem and I'm glad it was more then 100 words there's not much more you could add ot it keep it up

    =Logan=
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]


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