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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Portrait of a Ladydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: adnil
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 514/286/57
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1534
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1051



    Description:
       Have you ever looked at a painting or photo picture of someone from the past and wondered about them,and what they and their life was like?
    adnil


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPortrait of a Ladydots
    -------------------------------------------


    A bemused smile plays across her face
    Blue eyes light up within the picture frame
    She's posed in a regal grace beside a glowing fireplace
    Dressed in a long flowing lavender gown
    The fashion of her time...
    When one was ballroom bound
    At her throat is an ivory cameo
    That kisses her porcelain skin
    About her raven hair there seems to be a halo
    A bejewel bangle dangles about her wrist
    Sparkling with diamonds...
    And glittering sapphires an amethyst
    The date on the painting reads 1863
    A time when antebellum was the rage
    Full of glamour and chivalry
    Yet one wonders who this Lady may be
    For there's something about her
    That speaks of mystery to a great degree
    Was she the northerner of which gossip speaks?
    Who spied for the U.S. Cavalry
    Passing along the rebels secrets so sleek
    Or was she a true southern belle?
    As others most surly insist
    Awe! But if only the portrait could tell




    Submitted on 2006-03-14 19:49:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Really found this one interesting Linda, hmmm... at first glance at the title I was expecting plain and straightforward writing on a painting of a woman yet you have in a sense done that and much more. Your pieces always seem to have a meaning on a much greater level and I always like that.

    Really like you use of descriptions in this, keep up the good work my friend and have a blessed and most wonderful day. Your friend Jason. DO.
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      a great idea see pictures and remember happy and sad times inthe past it really helps us to forget and enjoy our lives.. wel it is a good wriitng of you and have a good wording
    so keep wriitnga nd thanks for sharing and if you have time please take a look to my writings
    have a nice day
    peace and love
    take care
    Victor
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Your imagery was very detailed and excellent. You also told the story of thie Southern Belle very well indeed. Funny how much can be extracted from looking at a picture.

    This was really good Linda. You have a precise and definitive style.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-03-18 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice work in capturing the essence of the lady in the potrait with words. Your description and detail brought the picture in view for the reader.
    I have looked at pictures and wondered about the person(s) in them.
    This was enjoyable to read.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh Linda, this was just fantasic! I loved it! You gave details and made the portrait real to me and you created a real mystery about her. I say southern belle...final anwser. lol. Wow, this was just beautiful and so well written. the flow was great...I found nothing wrong with this at all. A real work of art my lady.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing imagery! I think that you painted a clear picture of a genuine lady, and that is something hard to do. Its almost like you described the "perfect" woman, the one who gets all the fine gentlemen. There's a bit of her in all of us, but I think we all envy women of the past. At least I do, because they had such elegant ways, such graceful poise and just a sense of beauty and fragility, but at the same time, it made them so strong! Wonderful write, it's definately going on my favorites list! Keep it up so people like me can stay entertained! Jenn @>->-
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. Who hasnt stared at a portrait and wondered about the time? Its just cool. I also liked the bangle dangle line...that was cool to read. And your deductions of the woman were great as well. You have given her a life in your write and that makes this nice to read.
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay...here are my nit-picky critiques:

    AN ivory cameo, not AND ivory cameo...

    bejewel bangle dangles...too much of a tongue-twister. Try "a bejeweled bracelet dangles..."

    and I would simplify the lines about the diamonds, sapphires and amethyst by saying simply "glittering with the fire of precious stones" or something similar to help the flow.

    THEN...suddenly you go on a rhyming rampage..."be" "degree" "Cavalry" where the rest of the poem does NOT rhyme.

    "...who this Lady be"???
    "mystery to a great degree"???

    I would reword those lines...maybe something like, "One wonders who this magnificent Lady may have been? For there is something about her...a sense of importance and mystery..."

    Now for the good critique:

    This is an extremely unique subject matter and fascinating to read. It causes the reader to think about looking at similar portraits and about history and the glamour and mystery that surrounds it. You get A+++ kudos for originality and affecting the audience and making them think.

    Your visual imagery is also very good. Your words enable the reader to SEE the portrait very easily.

    A little revision, and this will be excellent!
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      
    In conclusion of this story you tell
    I think this was a true Southern Belle
    In all her splender her beauty is real
    That's my opinion and the way I feel
    A job well done, this I must say...
    Hold your head up proud and...

    !doc'
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice poem here. I like the way you tell us about her and give her character a real-life feeling. My favortie lines were:

    'At her throat is and ivory cameo (s/b 'an')
    That kisses her porcelain skin'

    Two minor things: 'fireplace' in line 3 s/b one word, and 'awe' in the last line s/b be 'ah.'

    Terrific work here.

    Peace,

    Joe
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Linda
    I have done this many times
    As a matter of fact I didnt realize how often I reflect off pictures until reading this
    I often think of what life was like for them
    You really captured an emotion in me with this one
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This is a life-like depiction of a simple photo! Great descriptive skills... aptly drew the reader into the photo, and light-hearted enough to show that it wasn't some grim thingy lying around. One could almost see that photo with their mind's eye! Good work!
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by unREMb | [ Reply to This ]


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