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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Holding Our Wings Hostagedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: canarddoue
    ASL Info:    17/F/MO
    Elite Ratio:    2.97 - 47/50/28
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 896
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 572



    Description:
       This is something I wrote just because. I think it's simply about people giving others their freedom of life mentally but not physically, which is easy to see in this write.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHolding Our Wings Hostagedots
    -------------------------------------------


    You've let me go, but haven't set me free.
    Swaying with each dove, each one with broken wings.
    For everyone who's held down by these chains,
    The tempo slows, now we're at one, let them struggle in all the world's pain.
    Their anger, so fierce, burning each of us slowly.
    No more moments keeping it inside, now it's our turn, we'll let out such suttle cries.
    We'll make wishes, and we'll have our dreams.
    Today we've been let go,
    but when will you set us free?




    Submitted on 2006-03-14 20:08:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really did see how you said in the describtion. Giving the freedom mentally but not physically.

    We'll make wishes, and we'll have our dreams.
    Today we've been let go,
    but when will you set us free?

    That pretty much sums it up.
    Your poem just seems so..beautiful and powerful. I hope that doesn't sound too corny. Its really great.
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the power in this piece, it really hits close to home, and I think it will do that to most people. I had to read it through twice for my mind to actually notice all the things you were saying. There is one place I feel is a bit blurry though, and it is this line:

    The tempo slows, now we're at one, let them struggle in all the world's pain

    The part that says, now we're at one, doesn't seem to fit in, and it doesn't really make any sense to me.
    Good job, all in all. :D
    Take Care,
    -Natalia
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by Natalia Petro | [ Reply to This ]


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