Girl on the Inside by BreakAndFall

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Submission Name: Girl on the Inside dots

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Author:	BreakAndFall
ASL Info:	18/f/mo
Elite Ratio:	3.34 - 115/153/59
Words:	158

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Being a Teen
Total Views:	118
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	933

Description:
Ah, the naivity of being young... I wrote this so long ago, I was a fighter all right, but God was I stupid... lol.

Girl on the Inside dots

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The girl on the inside, screaming to get out
The rebel from the south side no one knows about
The bonds all are broken, shattered like her dreams
Broken like her lonely heart; no one cares, it seems

The voice on the inside always speaks to me
The visions I've created, illusions that I see
No one seems to see these things I hold inside
The tiny little spaces where all my secrets hide

I'm living in two worlds and only one's reality
But which one's an illusion is a mystery to me
No signs with blinking arrows telling me the way
No writing on the wall to show me where I am today

The girl on the inside, screaming to get out
The rebel from the southside no one knows about
The white flag of surrender will not be raised above
I will never show you hate, and I will never fall in love

Submitted on 2006-03-14 21:14:35 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  You know...I liked this immensely until the very last line.

It just doesn't seem to fit with all the rest...instead it seems to be there only because it rhymes.

I don't know...perhaps revisit that line for an ending that better reflects the rest of the piece?

Otherwise, A+++
| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a wonderful poem I really like the line no sings with blinking arrows telling me the way
No writing on the wall to show me where I am today,she's spunking on the outside but no so sure on the inside,this I can feel within this piece,you did a good job with this write,the image was right on,,an I feel the entire poem was done to prefection keep up the good works am looking forward to more of your writes
adnil
| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
  What a great piece. I definitely enjoyed it. Love the fire and energy. Reading this brought a smile to my face. I can just picture a spunky teen with her head held high, her shoulders back, and her eyes light with fiery defiance. Wonderful poem. Keep up the good work.
| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by lostpoet25 | [ Reply to This ]

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