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They look at us and assume they know,
I'm the guiding hand
and they know you're the beauty.
With your intelligence,
my common sense
and the humor of us both,
Through the tears of happiness
The laughter brought on by jokes,
inside and out,
we conquered the years.
They say I'm the hand,
that pulls you up
and keeps your head attatched.
But they don't see behind the door,
where my head is crying on your shoulder
as you wipe away my tears,
reminding me of all the good things
and most importantly
reminding me how important you are.
Thank you my dear.
| definate emotion in this write. You write from the heart and picture it well!|
|| Posted on 2006-11-08 00:00:00 | by Candale-Switch | [ Reply to This ] || This my friend is a very powerful write|
This write remins us that it definately takes two to make true Love
I love the way you worded this and I found this too be very emotional
|| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] || Damn, maybe it seems like I say this about all your work, but this truly is THE best I have ever seen of it. Not one of the best, the best. |
The real friendship here is just..sparkling. I have no choice but to add it to my favorites list.
no, really, every stanza was stunning. It makes me wish I knew someone the way you know Jess. It's like a more sophisticated version of your sweet and simple style. Sorry, I really can't find anything to change. It brings tears to my eyes,( and that's not from staring at the screen too long). I really love ya, Kim.
|| Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ] || awww baby i love you! *gives you a giant hug* darling, you have no idea what this poem does for my self-esteem!|
i'm going to miss you like hell when i leave. but let's look on the somewhat less gloomy side... i'm going to be here for all of my breaks and a few that aren't . you're totally welcome to visit me too! oh hey! remember how we are going to go see richard this summer? all i have to do is fly you down to Grand Junction and then we can roadtrip to Durango! save a helluva lot of money that way!
the only complaint i have is that you've gotten confused on the first stanza... i'm certainly not the beauty in our relationship!
love you hun!
|| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ] || This was just lovely Kimbre. Such a positive to it stemming from the cool blend of a great friend and companion. Teamates in all. Sweet.||| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ] || Okay...here are my thoughts:|
In the first verse...I would drop "and they know" from the third line because it is too repetitive and redundant...your first line already states "they assume they know"
Just say "And you are the beauty"
Other than that I'd just like to point out a few spelling errors that you could edit to clean it up...
Having said that as far as critique, I really liked the rest of this. It carried a beautiful message and had a nice flow to it. Left me with a real happy-happy-joy-joy impression and a sense of caring and love.
|| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ] || Good Morn'n Rain,|
This was a really sweet poem about friendship. A true friend is hard to come by and if you have one, cherish that friend for life.
Everyone can usually find their favorite lines in a poem and these two were mine:
With your intelligence,
my common sense
I enjoyed reading your poem..
|| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ] || What a lovely write this was!|
If I had one complaint, it was the apparent arbitrariness of the stanzas which did not seem to follow a recongisable pattern. Other than that, your poem was excellent.
You write eloquently, and clearly, with accurate diction and rather original thoughts. Your "dear" is clearly lucky, and all of us envy him.
|| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by HansRik | [ Reply to This ] || Okay I did like this poem. It had meaning and I'm sure whoever you wrote it for feels truly special and lucky to have someone like you in thier life. I think you need to correct the grammatical errors though. Once you fix those, I'm sure it will read even better than it does now. Overall though I liked the piece and enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!||| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by lostpoet25 | [ Reply to This ] |