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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: one last time (verse 2)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: unknown soldier
    ASL Info:    17/kenner, La (N.O)
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 1348/1346/203
    Words: 293
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 207
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1868



    Description:
       this was definitely a cure for writer's block. lol


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsone last time (verse 2)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Entranced by the spells of necromancers and belly dancers
    Heads bald because we have cancer—watch me entrance ya
    With my special elixir—I left you with mixtures
    With directions on scriptures
    Perform alchemy with the philosopher’s stone—pumping testosterone
    To transform rock manually into gossamer sewn
    Still searching for my very own home
    I dislike the wasteful, the gluttons
    George Bush doesn’t stop pushing buttons
    And taking something and turn it back into nothing
    Trying to stop all the cutting
    All the wars and the scars—the blood, sweat, and tears in these bars
    Find my fossils in tar—body marred, with my soul among stars
    We’ve gotten too far—to turn around and stop where we are
    Who here can stop me—eye of the tiger like Rocky
    I’ll take licks and keep swinging
    Even if I lay down my pen, I’ll keep thinking
    I’ll never give up—til I feel that I’ve had enough
    I’ll never run, but when I’m done
    Pass on the pen and the mic
    Bush is against gays, but Dick’s daughter’s a dike
    Melt you with hot iron, the irony
    Finally I realized I can’t go down silently
    I’m forgotten since no one reminded me of those who act violently
    Pain bringers rip the mic from my lifeless fingers
    Watch it be resubmerged into darkness
    Reincarnate as myself just to see your reactions
    Once again we’re slaughtered by these fatal attractions

    This is my last time blazing this track
    Cuz I’m whack, that’s a fact
    No more mother fucking shows
    Here I go cuz I know
    That I said all I can
    Step down from the stand
    As the mic drops from my hands
    This is my last time kicking verses to peers
    This is the last flow you’ll ever hear




    Submitted on 2006-03-15 06:36:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey troy! how r u? this was good but the end waz confusing! but of course im stupid and just dont understand it! i dont think the rhymes were forced it was find the ending was da only thing i didnt understand! im sick again! im going to da doctor!
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was definatly a pretty faced paced right...it is easier to grasp if you read it twice...hehe nice description...I missed Troy how've you been? anyway this was a good write...the flow didn't seemed too forced to me but I'm the mistress of forced ryhmes.
    luv ya,
    jess
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      so much going on in this poem kinda centered on for me a few things.. this is your time to shine you've said what you had to say and made it in lyrics.. was very nicely put!

    I’ll take licks and keep swinging
    Even if I lay down my pen, I’ll keep thinking
    I’ll never give up—til I feel that I’ve had enough



    these are my favorite lines

    peace
    Penny
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by pennymarie | [ Reply to This ]
      This verse was crucial. "Perform alchemy with the philosopher’s stone—pumping testosterone
    To transform rock manually into gossamer sewn"
    Hard thing to do. GOod line
    "All the wars and the scars—the blood, sweat, and tears in these bars
    Find my fossils in tar—body marred, with my soul among stars
    We’ve gotten too far—to turn around and stop where we are"
    Creative lines.
    The message in the verse was there, but i can see why some people might find it hard to understand. You had good rhymes, didn't feel like they were forced. It had a good flow, up until the end.
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      I had to read this twice before i could really understand it, and im not sure if i even got the right meaning from it... anyways... a lot of the rhyme seems really forced, at times it was like there was nothing else you could put so you settled for the next best thing... I did really like the line about how bush hates gays but Dicks daughter is a dike made me laugh! Well hope you have a nice day. Talk to you soon!
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by amber_in_wyomin | [ Reply to This ]



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