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Young Man

Author: owlman23
ASL Info:    29/m/al
Elite Ratio:    4.58 - 71 /75 /28
Words: 96
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 986
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 610


To my brother...

Young Man

The young man on the left
Who used to be confused
Now says wrong is right
Because he was abused

In the absence of his family
He clung to what was near
He listened to the wrong advice
His judgment made unclear

Now that he's changed his point of view
And broken his family's hearts
Turned his back on all he knew
Created a rift with his new start

The anger in his father's eyes
And his mother's teary stares
Can he ever be forgiven
Or does he even care.

Submitted on 2006-03-15 12:35:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I think that this was a good poem expressing the pure truth of life. Sometimes this happens. Sometimes we wake up and think that everything that we thought was right is wrong. So we start over...clear it all and make way for a new idea. Great write.
| Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm. This is a thinker. In the first stanza you mention abuse, then you mention the mother in a sympathetic way, so I would assume the father is the abuser. 'In the absence of family' doesn't seem to fit, since you and your mother seem to care. I also think it feels unfinished. I would love details, maybe describe your brother and his 'crowd'. What is this 'new start'? Things like that. I loved the way it made me think.
| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]
  I think this is a very powerful and emotional piece you've written. It feels unfinished, though. As I came to the end of the last stanza, I was like, isn't there any more?? I really like how you've desribed the images and feelings of it all, but it is also very obvious that this is a very personal piece to you.
Take Care,
| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by Natalia Petro | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the way you painted this picture of betrayal, self abandonment, and how others can easily mislead. It's hard to know whats wrong or right especially if you have a father who sees only black in white which I think may be the case... But what I do believe is that everyone sees there own right and wrong and choose their own paths and theres nothing wrong with that so if this is about your brother maybe understanding would be better than trying to change his mind... But enough of my own opinion... Its a graet write interesting topic and look forward to more from you...

| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by Kersofmia | [ Reply to This ]

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