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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love Is & Map Of Michigandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: FrankBlissett
    Elite Ratio:    5.17 - 206/191/66
    Words: 430
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 246
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2985



    Description:
       Here are two of my more toung-in-cheek poems - "Love Is" and "Map Of Michigan". The primary thing I am looking for is which of the two leaves the biggest impression on you (in a good way). Any further critique on either poem is welcome and encouraged.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Is & Map Of Michigandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Love Is

    Love is, love is, love is,
    Love is a dog and love is a cat,
    Love is a star and love is a hat,
    Love is a this and love is a that.

    Love is, love is, love is,
    This old world spins,
    Like a pair of twins:
    One saints while the other sins.

    Love is, love is, love is,
    The fool writes of love,
    Of the gentle turtle-dove,
    Or angels from above.

    Is love, is love, is love.
    Ancestry is love as well,
    And descendancy into hell,
    From whence the fools fell.

    Is love, is love, is love.
    Is love what can be wrote?
    Is love what can be smote?
    Is love what rows the boat?



    Map Of Michigan

    When traveling through the Midwest
    You may perchance to see
    Two fellows meet, share greetings,
    Point to their hands,
    Then part ways naturally.

    What you have just witnessed
    Is not some secret society salutation,
    But just two travelers in wordless whimsy,
    Answering the question,
    "Where're ya headin'?" or "Where're ya from?".

    If this still seems a mystery, a big fat sham,
    Then you're plainly not from Michigan,
    Or you'd already understand
    For the common greeting in Michigan
    Is to point to one's raised hand.

    Left hand is the Lower Peninsula,
    Right hand is the U. P.,
    Unless your guest has gotten bolder
    And begun to look over your shoulder,
    Whereupon you switch your hands you see.

    At any rate, with this map
    Any city can be found.
    Just hold your hand up for all to view
    And point to a hangnail or hair or knuckle
    And declare the name of your town.

    The Sault's at the tip of one middle finger,
    Macinaw City is at the other
    And your thumbs imply,
    In their own way,
    Sandusky and Copper Harbor.

    Detroit is the flesh at the base of the thumb,
    Traverse City is on the little
    And Lansing sits still
    Up on a hill
    Made from the bone in the middle

    There are even those who can,
    Through wrinkles, show the way,
    With highways etched from sunrise to sunset,
    Big veins stetched from the south to the north,
    And moles marking safe spots to stay.

    So it's not uncommon, when Michiganders meet,
    To point to some digital feature or other.
    And understand that when two lovers hold hands,
    Paradise and Hell have embraced
    And two Nirvanas have found one another.







    Submitted on 2006-03-15 15:10:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I guess th emaps got my vote since this is kind of funny,but then the last line s of love was pretty good to,but at the same time love was just a bet to much,on the other hand Map was ,oh heck at 4:30 am an being a female I'd say my brains still in bed asleep,but I like mosstly the map,thanks for the read,I guess you wanted toknow which one so you could put the winner in your chapbook,read your forum
    adnil
    | Posted on 2006-03-18 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      Love Is-
    I really really like the idea of trying to define love, because it is really something you cant put into words. I loved that point, the only thing was that the ending didnt seem final.

    Map of Michigan-
    I loved the imaginary, the rhyme, I really enjoyed all of it. The way that it really took you from your seat into this place you were telling of.

    The first was more powerful, had more of a meaning but needs refining.
    The second was just a great poem. Fun and creative.
    Great job Frank,
    thank you for the great reads.
    take care
    ~jennifer
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooh a rewrite. Unfortunately, I don't think it works.... I can only remember what you were trying to do with the last one, and I don't think this really accomplishes it. Sorry. I think you're still looking for something that's more obviously lighthearted and poking fun at regular ole real love poems. And judging by the previous comment here, I don't think that mark has quite been hit yet.

    The Michigan one is awesome though. Unique and fun. On the other hand, so to speak, knowing nothing about Michigan and trying to not look at a map, I really wasn't able to glean exactly which hand was doing what where... as a poem, it was fun, but as a map, it's pretty crummy. I'm also impressed that such a long piece was so easy to read.
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by bitterlily | [ Reply to This ]
      For me, Map of Michigan made the better impression. It's a really neat story, and I like the mix-and-match rhyming.

    The first is a good poem too. I like the structure. But I'm confused about the overall idea. It seems to say love is everything and love is nothing, but I'm not sure whether it's asking me to decide which it is, or just stating the author's own uncertainty.
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by ALittleBitCrazy | [ Reply to This ]



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