[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: sir jack, duchess hack, mr zombiedots

    Author: Rhaine
    ASL Info:    25/Yes/An Alley
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 660/744/196
    Words: 225
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 952
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1385

       the beat is awkward unless you can hear me read it, but im a writer not a reader...some parts might make you think what the hell is she trying to say, but i got out exactly what i intended to say

    btw title has everything to do with the poem, but you wouldnt see that, mr zombie yes

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssir jack, duchess hack, mr zombiedots

    Donít know why itís kind of depressing
    To see him crawling out on a ledge
    With the rain beating down and killing his soul
    Killing it cold
    Running and heís running through the storm
    Arriving just in time to die
    And here is to me
    Dancing like a fool
    Such the little fool
    Talking with a monster that would as soon as kill
    Like the sun will always sting your eye

    To see his hair turn from brown
    To a burnt ash color in a matter of days
    By taking my life into his heart
    Caring for me
    Only for me
    And here I am laughing and smiling
    Crying with and loving this monster
    Cutting at his throat
    With my nails
    Letting his blood bleed for me

    Singing a sad song when she dies
    But loving another while he perishes
    I think its kind of funny
    Very funny
    How he goes out of the way
    The way around the world
    To come back to nothing
    Someone who will be nothing
    Because he is nothing for her

    Sucking at the monsters chest
    While its whores bite back at his ass
    Seeing him and hearing him tear apart
    I can hear the rips

    Donít you want to know why
    Should I tell you why
    Probably shouldnít tell you why
    So I will

    Submitted on 2006-03-15 15:45:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think its kind of funny
    Very funny
    How he goes out of the way
    The way around the world
    To come back to nothing
    Someone who will be nothing
    Because he is nothing for her

    I love this part. I don't know what to say about this. I think it's morbid, but beautiful in it's darkness. I think it's fabulous! I hope to read more like it soon!
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Incubus written by monad
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by Chelebel
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]