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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Because I'm A Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 541
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1104



    Description:
       Someone really pissed me off last night. And this is not the first time that it has happened. And I'm tired of it. SO I wrote this...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBecause I'm A Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's because I'm a girl, isn't it?
    It's because I have breasts
    It's because you can't ever concentrate
    If you happen to glance at my chest.

    It's because I'm a girl, isn't it?
    It's because I don't walk around, swinging my dick.
    It's because I'm a little different than you are
    It's because you're a goddamn prick.

    It's because I'm a girl, isn't it?
    It doesn't matter how intelligent I might be
    You patronize me with foolish insinuations
    Just cause I happen to be me.

    It's because I'm a girl, isn't it?
    It's because you think you're such a man.
    It's because you choose to disregard the things
    That you fail to understand.

    It's because I'm a girl, isn't it?
    It's because you can't comprehend what I am
    So when your ridiculous mindset goes up in flames
    Let's see who really gives a damn.




    Submitted on 2006-03-16 08:13:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      What the hell? I haven't commented on this? I am so stupid. Damn me for that . I guess this one was written from work? In which case...guys in the work force can be incredibly ignorant and that is something you have to expect. But I like the poem. I think the style works with the anger that you have in here.
    | Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Start off with the "I'm a male" statement, so anyone who happens to glance at this comment can go, "oh, well it makes sense then."

    Ahem. I really, honestly didn't sense anger so much as bitterness, which are two related, but slightly different things.
    This may be because I can not really relate due to the statement I've already made.

    I will say that I do understand the kind of person this refers to, I may know one or two guys like that, and they are rather unsavory folks, and that much was generally captured in this.
    I can see the distaste for the person that "inspired" this, so in that, the poem is successful as well. I can not, however, feel a great rage making me want to harm the person. Laugh at the dope, yes. Mock the fool, yes. Harm him, no, it wouldn't be worth it.

    So I get some feeling from this, but overall the scheme and the word choice and the rhythm don't evoke great anger in me, but leave me feeling as though if I met the guy, I wouldn't consider him worth knowing past the meeting.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes! I agree so strongly with this poem. It displayed a sense of rage, that I have yet to be able to capture in a poem. The entire time I was reading it I was just getting more and more angry. I love this poem. I really do. It makes me want to be like, 'Dad, read this.'
    I realize, though, that it would probably not make a difference.
    I think that a poem is wonderful when it can convey a feeling such as this so...vividly. Consicely. Very good super job, dear Raivn.
    Also, you should read my latest post, it's a story, and it's called The Rain. You would probably understand it better then most anyone.
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      Although this did ignite an anger in me, I felt it lacked the luster it could have had... Not to say I did not like it, but I guess I wanted more violence, more revenge, more hatred, I am sick that way twords that type of man.. Good write..
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by manicsmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      Such energy! I enjoyed the emotion you wrote into this. Usually, I dont like when people use profanity in poetry, but here, I have to make an exception. It's use was fitting and it didnt seem over the top or offensive, if you can understand what I mean by that. It was a great image, a woman fighting to be respected by men, someone tired of people walking all over them, someone tired of the mindset this society seems to be so full of. Great write, super work, keep it up, keep ur head high, and don't let men tell you what to do!
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]
      First off, let me just say that other people in the room right now are giving me pretty odd looks. Apparently, they don't like the fact that I'm sitting here with a sneer on my face, watering eyes, and fists clenched in angst. That's what good poetry is supposed to do, though; the fact that you instilled unbridled anger in me towards a man I don't know bowls me over! Seriously, I used to think men were an interesting invention, but DAMN if I don't wanna throw the next one I see off the Empire State building. Just a suggestion, but the next time you see the simpleton who caused you grief, take a printed piece of this work and slit him with it. hehehehehe...*ahem*
    Tremendous, brassy, sassy, and bold are among the few things that come to mind as I read this. Sticking with a certain rhythm when one is punching out a poem of hatred can be tough at points, but props to you for pulling it off with finesse! My sympathy to what you went through, hope it eventually works out.
    ~Truffs
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]
      


    so who is he?
    lets go kick his ass...( who cares if he's a boss..., a teacher.... a landlord...)
    show him what girls are really made of...
    ok....so maybe we cant do that...
    but this was a good write...my fave stanza was the second one...I laughed my ass off at the...swinging your dick...indeed.
    the flow of this poem works so well...for the anger
    it makes a certain punch.
    great powerful emotion..

    love Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]


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