Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Choicedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: The Gadfly
    ASL Info:    52/M/Moreno Valley, CA
    Elite Ratio:    3.55 - 1048/1348/375
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 733
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 957



    Description:
       A womb with a different view.

    It is not pretty.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Choicedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Floating, floating through space,
    securely fastened to the mother ship,
    he drifted in the nebulous surroundings
    he had learned to call home.

    At times stretching his arms and legs,
    he marveled at this wondrous void,
    pondering where this mission would lead.
    All systems were "Go!" on this ride.

    A sudden jolt and a piercing pain
    sent him spinning out of control.
    Hands clutching the thin line firmly;
    his body began writhing and convulsing.

    As his lungs screamed for oxygen,
    fear gripped him with cold, firm claws.
    Helpless, he fought with every muscle,
    every fiber of his being, to survive.

    Death arrived in a matter of minutes.
    All he had known was swept away quickly.
    The choice had been made.
    His mother didn't need a baby right now.


    The Gadfly




    Submitted on 2006-03-16 08:42:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is very controversial for me... yeah, sounds funny, but it's all because of what I believe in. I do believe in God, I was born in a catholic family, but I do not believe in church and the rules of this community. Still, I believe in RESPONSIBILITY, people are responsible for each other, mother is responsible for the life of her child. Still, I don't treat this matter ruthlessly. But enough of that.

    I would like to say I'm impressed by your careful, pure and flawless style. It was very well written, the idea's very good and moving. Makes think.

    "His mother didn't need a baby right now"

    but is it always that way?

    Anyway - a very good writing. You play with words like it comes to you so naturally, it's a wonderful experience to read such pieces.
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very emotional piece and so many people have different feelings about this subject, You have written and expressed it very well and so hearfelt, I am a strong believer in Faith and alot of my poems reflect my Faith in God. Every life should have the right to have a chance in this world, God blesses a woman with a beautful gift of a child not to destroy it but to nurture and help it grow and learn and to live life. This was beautifully written and I will add this one to my favorites I hope more people will read this one and leave a comment as well it truely grabs your heart and it did mine. God Bless you.

    Ladymustang
    | Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      Greg
    This is an outstanding write
    as you read in one of my poems
    The Greatest Love Of All
    I couldnt agree with this poem More
    Why must we hurt and injure a helpless Child
    This Child did no wrong and deserves a chance
    Very Very Informative Write
    God Bless My Friend
    Ron

    And Best Of Luck with the new album
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      what a wonderful perspective. this really made me think about my beliefs and im sure it made other people think as well. i give you props for having the guts to post this, it must be something you feel strongly about and i respect you for that. great flow and message. i really did enjoy reading this...if a poem can make me stop and think about ANYTHING at all its fabulous in my book. so...bravo!
    take care
    birdy
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by birdy5005 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how you described a foetus' sense of wonder, likened the whole thing to a space mission. And at the end, sadly, the deadly decision made. But I think, compared to your other works, this isn't as 'poetic' as it can be.
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      Eh, abortion.. like anything else, there is a time and a place for everything.
    Not much for 'casual abortions' though.
    However once again you threw a wonderful twist into your writing.
    Once again on a brave subject.
    Once again enthralling and well written.
    Did I mention you were my poetic hero?
    Gah I'm going to have to stop commenting on you. I think this is going to end up in a predicatble trend of commenting.
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Jodans | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem brought me to the verge of tears... It was so touching, so realistic. I have ALWAYS been pro-life. I was born two months premature, and my mother would have known it would be that way, because my biological older sister was a premie too. She was not married, she worked a long day at a factory, and made very little money, and already had a four year old daughter to take care of. But I thank God every day for the choice SHE made... the choice to keep me, the choice to give me up for adoption and give me a chance at life instead of thinking of herself and not of me. This poem was so close to home for me, perhaps that is why I found it so touching, but God, I loved this one! Thank you for sharing, maybe it will successfully change the twisted views some people have, because life should be the one thing this world protects over everything else. God bless
    Jenn @>->-
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]
      Very Heartwrenching indeed... and to think that a whether to spare the little life inside of you or not is a "choice" is absurd to me. Every child deserves a chance at life- to stretch their little arms and legs and breathe the air- have a chance to live- and love- (I'm with ya there) Not an easy subject to write about for sure- but this was very well written and will for sure evoke alot of emotion in others as it did in me. Thanks for cementing my views even further. I just have to add this to my favorites- God bless- Heather
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by delusional | [ Reply to This ]
      I suppose you have heard some hell for this one...
    and you probably brought some woman to tears and guilt...(thankfully I have never had to make that decision and hopefully for I am a smart girl...I never will have to)
    abortion is a cruel things...as your poem portrays it...
    I am at a loss of much more to say
    and your words way heavy on my heart...
    a complicated thought provoking piece...

    Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    95158

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Genesis written by saartha
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    This written by Chelebel
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    ME written by jjd
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Stretto written by saartha
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry