Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: He's Always Gonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: codysangel
    ASL Info:    18/f/ky
    Elite Ratio:    2.78 - 29/38/12
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 635
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1016



    Description:
       A poem about my current boyfriend who's always...as the poem says...gone on the road working...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHe's Always Gonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    He's always gone on the road
    and I"m left here back at home
    When he calls he's too tired to talk
    making me feel neglected and unloved

    He's always gone on the road
    working twelve hours a day
    and seven days a week
    but making mega bucks

    He's always gone on the road
    leaving me messages that simply say
    "I love you and I'm ready to come home"
    and he actually says he misses me

    He's alway sgone on the road
    sometimes months at a time
    making me wonder how much longer
    I can last all alone

    He's always gone on the road
    which leaves me with an empty bed
    and weeks of sleepless nights
    where I just toss and turn and cry

    He's always gone on the road
    but he's coming home soon
    promising he won't be leaving anytime soon
    since he says we're getting married




    Submitted on 2006-03-16 20:15:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really understand where you're coming from with this, my ex boyfriend was in a band so was always all over the place, and i know it's not much fun being the one left at home! You really managed to convey those feelings, well done. charlie x
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Charlie Poppins | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sure he's thinking about you right now. I guess I would of corrected the spelling error where you typed "sgone". but other than that, loved it. see ya...
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Black Eyes | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow..Powerful and moving. But...Parts of it had rhyme and parts didn't (not necesssarily a bad thing) Did it start out rhyming and then transform, or were the rhymes just accidental?
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Jackie Roma | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    95237

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry