Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Springtime Fallingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: krs3332003
    Elite Ratio:    6.48 - 143/113/63
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 865
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 959



    Description:
       2017-04-06: I updated this little ditty with some needed improvements to the rhyme. You're falling through the clouds...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpringtime Fallingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Through skies forever blue
    upon the wings of fate
    Supple rays of virtue
    that soar to Elysian gates

    The binding words of life
    an enchanted harmony
    A cut from cupid's knife
    in this clouded fantasy

    Through pillows made of white
    the sunshine pours like rain
    It streams just out of sight
    forever to remain

    As gentle winds pass through
    the warmth of evermore
    Holding promises of new
    for faith so lost before

    And spiraling away
    to the blue so far below
    A kiss will lead astray
    and slide it down a rainbow

    Amongst the swaying trees
    it falls so silently
    The scent of springtime's breeze
    that enraptures soulfully

    With this she casts a spell
    and soon it lets her see
    A prayer of thought to tell
    of love's sweet melody




    Submitted on 2006-03-16 20:59:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is very nice, kelly. i think you should try a version of this in free verse, but that's just because that's what i write, as you know. i like the image of falling through clouds - what a rush!
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by joeym1962 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    95239

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry