Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Caffeinedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 372
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 556
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2605



    Description:
       I am so f***ing hyper! This encompasses a lot of different situations. No one will completely understand it, but Jessie will understand it best!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCaffeinedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I think there's a hole in my sock...
    What could a teeny-tiny person do to cause mischief?
    I think there's a teeny-tiny person in my sock!
    Caffeine addles the brain.

    Oh, god, it's a raccoon!
    A raccoon, a raccoon!
    What does that have to do with anything?
    No, it's really a raccoon!

    One sneeze...
    Two sneeze...
    Three sneeze...
    Finish, damn it, finish!

    The word for the day is...
    Ass...
    Aghhhh!
    Laugh...
    Aghhhh!
    It...
    AGHHHH!

    There's a little man that lives in the sugar dispenser
    If you leave that door open, he'll get pneumonia.
    Close the door...
    CLOSE THE GODDAMN DOOR!

    Your mom goes to college...

    We're rolling back prices
    On a buggy full of fuzzy balls
    Multi-colored works of genius...
    I think they might be pillows.

    Take one for the team!
    You've got the big, floppy boobs.
    My boobs are not floppy,
    You're the one that wants the tumor...

    Damn it, Tom, quit teasing me
    I will not be your queen
    Your puffy purple dress does not sway my interest
    It's got crazy pink sequins

    It don't matter if Beck's gotta a couple of couches
    He's a fucking Scientologist
    If I didn't have body thetans, I'd have couches, too.
    It's their fault Jim Morrison's dead.

    Order a salad, ask for a glass of ice
    Oh, damn, I dropped my spoon...
    Cheese, cheese, I need cheese!
    How many dishes does that make it?

    Well, do ya?
    Do ya, do ya wanna...
    Get dressed up in puffy skirts
    And go play bingo...

    Movie night, movie night...
    Killers that run, oh no!
    The poor bird just wants to dance...
    Oh, look, I'm in flash animation...

    Lay off my black and pink bras
    I only have five of them
    You're just jealous cause your car ain't a gangsta ride
    And you can't shake your laffy taffy.

    Sexin up the wall, sexin up the wall
    Sexin up the gangsta ride
    Sexin up the Naesha, sexin up the Chris
    The Chris cannot fully appreciate the favor

    Death by kitty, death by kitty,
    Oh, god, I'm gonna shrink
    Who will get my gangsta ride?
    Did I mention there's a person in my sock?




    Submitted on 2006-03-17 08:24:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I seriously enjoyed this, which is in itself a worry...lol

    What impressed me was the total lack of cohesion, yet the constant variety of inane subjects you came up with. I was waiting for some repetition and sameyness, as it was quite a long piece, but that didn't happen.

    Very zany, and very impressively written. Fucked, yeah, but impressive...lol

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with mihir...you seem buzzed on something! ah...but as long as you had fun writing it! and at least one person can understand it...i mean even though i didnt, it was still, in some odd way, entertaining.
    take care
    birdy
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by birdy5005 | [ Reply to This ]
      ok....
    ummm...
    there are some underling things i catch in this...
    there seems to be a subtle theme of music...
    i caught it I did...
    after you mentioned the late Jim Morrison
    the killers...
    laffy taffy to name a few..
    what I can gather from this is that...
    creative minds are scary when they are hyper...
    Love Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it all over! I read that other persona comment and I think 'how can you not understand?' But if I weren't me I probably wouldn't understand either. I loved all of this... and you make a good point about Beck and his Scientology. There is a funny story about sexing up the Chris that deals directly with Mr. Jim, I'll tall you about it if you ever wake the [censored] up. I've been 'buzzing' you for about 10 minuets now and your still sleeping. I think I understood pretty much everything here.
    I cannot critique this poem with the typical, flow and meaning and such, because that is not the of point of it all. It is meant to be fun, to have energy, which was well accomplished, by the way.
    I just say very good job on this one, dear Raivn, Very good job indeed.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      ok now that sounds like u wrote it when u were high on something! i dont really get What ur trying to say but i do get ur feelings!
    cheers
    mihir
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by mihir | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    95283

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Dream written by closetpoet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    prison written by ShyOne
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry