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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Dancerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: D McDaniel
    ASL Info:    60/M/CT
    Elite Ratio:    5.57 - 266/222/62
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 234
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 707



    Description:
       Whatever you believe, believe it!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Dancerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    And on the day
    the Angels cried,
    my spirit, seeking
    truth, still tried…

    To make some sense
    of what life was.
    And see if it
    was just because…

    Someone before me
    led the way…
    Or was it as
    some others say?
    ~
    Was life a plan
    or just by chance?
    And will I see
    the Angels dance?

    Who knew the path
    that I would take,
    when from the womb
    I first did break.

    Yet, on that day
    the Angels smiled.
    They had agreed
    of this lovely child…

    This one should be a dancer!





    Submitted on 2006-03-17 08:43:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is awesome... I really like the fact that throughout the poem you have no idea what the connection between the poem and the title is, but then bang in one line you reveal the connection and it doesn't interrupt the poem at all. I usually don't like choppy poems, but you wrote it in a way that it flows very well. Great write!!

    -x- Candie
    | Posted on 2006-03-26 00:00:00 | by teenage_dirtbag | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful work! This poem is simple, but it says so much. The last little but was the coolest. I was just curious though...what do the others say??
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Itzunori | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought( that) should of been placed between the words agreed and this an the of takin out in the line They had agreed of this lovely child, but then that is just my take on this other then that I really felt this is a wonderful write and well worth the read,please keep up the wonderful writes am looking forword to reading more of your stuff
    adnil
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice write, I have to say I enjoyed the read, keep up the good work, I just went through and saw a bunch of crap, then I saw your and it was nice.
    If you get a chance check some of mine out.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by dustinamoody | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this! It was both "cute" and profound.

    The format and rhyme was such a breeze to read!

    Very, Very Nice!



    Steve
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow . I read it twice because i wanted to make sure it was as good as I thought the first time. It is something that I would read from a well known writer. As the above were stating the last line is incredible and I can't wait to read more. good Job.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by mandy dupuis | [ Reply to This ]
      This is deffinately a cute poem. It was quick and happy and made me smile. It was sort of hummorus thinking about when the baby is born and the angels take one look at it and assign what it's going to be. You did a great job! This was a very enjoyable write.

    -Oli
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
      Absolutely lovely. I was going along in a trance.. up until this line "They had agreed of this lovely child…" and the last line, "This one should be a dancer!"... Maybe you could change them up a bit?.
    Otherwise, I think you did a great job with the rest of the write. You have talent. It shows.

    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]



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