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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Him Versus Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 944
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1213



    Description:
       i wrote htis for two guys named Alex i know. oh well. feelings can change but its hard for me to change them. i just wonder if he could ever truly like me back.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHim Versus Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In a way I'm scared of you,
    Because of what you've done.
    I dodn't want you to be like him,
    'Cause in the end he won.

    You made me change for better.
    He made me change for worse.
    I don't want to change again,
    'Cause if I do I'll burst.

    In the end he'd beat me,
    And then he'd say he cared.
    And I'd always believe him,
    But he'd still pull my hair.

    So will you be the same as him?
    Now its him versus you.
    Now how can I believe you,
    When he wasn't true?

    You remind me of him,
    But in a better way.
    And when you called me beautiful,
    I fell for you that day.
    You make me feel worth it.
    You make me want to live.
    You make me feel happy.
    You're what life can give.

    He made me feel worthless.
    He made me want to die.
    With him I'm always angry,
    Because he'd always lie.


    Tell me you're not like him.
    Tell me its alright.
    Tell me its all over.
    Say I don't have to fight.




    Submitted on 2006-03-17 14:50:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You did really well with this girl on showing that 1) not everyone is the same but 2) trusting that that's not so isn't.
    I liked how you alternated the stanzas and I am glad you realize that "IT's" not someone who hurts you but who holds you in respect, adoration and beauty You deserve "IT"!
    love,peace,joy&smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, This poem was just so great to me. I think its sad that a guy named alex did that. But the other guy was kind? This poem made me get this feeling in my chest. Almost like ...I thought about love and life. How guys can be so different then to who you think they really are. I hope hes not like him. Everyone deserves someone who makes them happy. Good job on your poem, it had an awesome flow and I just kept wanting to read it.
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought that the idea of the poem was great and it's very sad that the first alex hurt you like that. that makes me really mad when people think they have the right to treat others like that...the flow was kind of lost on lines like " 'Cause if I do I'll burst" and "When he wasn't true?" but other than that i think it was well-written and the emotion was very well expressed...good job!
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ]
      I hope it's ok with you that I added this to my favourites. I really like how you compared him and the other guy. Like light and dark contrast. It was really well written and it had amazing. flow. Watch your spelling though. Again I must say this is amazing. Keep on writting kickass work. <3

    X- Atonement
    | Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by atonement | [ Reply to This ]


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