Description: This is really short and i dont mind if you guys dont like it. I didn't spend too much time on it, just tried to give you a peek inside my demented mind and my dream world, So give me advice, i want to know how to make it better. Oh andbtw, Apollyon is some kind of god of locusts, mentioned in the bible and it means "destroyer" in greek, just so you know.
Self-inflicted death plaguing lives
in the Faithless Age.
Sky burnt black.
It's now, the dammned prevail.
I dream of salvation
raining down from angelic beings
sent by the holy Father.
Tormented souls rejoice in hope.
But Apollyon,
enveloped in hatred of the light,
descends and slaughters
all messangers divine.
Demon throne. Chaos Reign.
Pray revenge
for angels slain.
i like the language of this one...it's sort of dark/romantic-ish in a way...but not romantic in the love type sense....if you knwo what i mean...it is short, and i usually dont like the short types of poetry...but this one is good, its got enough imagery that it makes you know where you're going in your mind with it....it doesnt make too much sense as far as a main idea or theme of it goes, but it doesn't need that since its supposed to be a look into your mind...a mind doesn't have to make sense, and i think u captured that well. i also like the last part:
Demon throne. Chaos Reign. Pray revenge for angels slain.
animus was right...it did hold a lot, and it sort of summed up the whole thing nice write! keep it up!
I find short, simple words to be more challenging to understand and more enjoyable. You created such detailed images with a few words which brought substance to your piece.
eveloped in hatred of the light,
Did you mean enveloped? I don't believe 'eveloped' is a word unless dictionary.com lies. Sorry, but I look up words I don't seem to know so the piece clarifies better. Take care.
Hey, I really loved this one. Short and simple, but it had your usual vocabulary and great flow to it. You never cease to impress me with your writings, you probably never will, lol. Great job!
I enjoyed this... like you said it is short but I do belive that the length is perfect for this piece, it gives the reader the change to build upon the images created.
I especially enjoyed the last stanza...
"Demon throne. Chaos Reign. Pray revenge for angels slain"
I never read about Apollyon... but then again I have never been one for organized religon of any kind... It did you give yau a fresh perspective on the bible and the demons (or so they say) portrayed in it.
dude apollyon is the demond of death, who in the end of the 3 1/2 good years sends out his faithful demondsin the form of jiant locust, horse, human, spider tipe things, who only bite those with out the mark of the believer
but nice. short and sweet. liked the contrast between the begining and end.
Submission Name: Apollyon's Reign
